Sorry it's been a while since I've written anything but it's been a little hectic around here lately. Asha decided that a stint in the US wouldn't be complete without a trip through the American medical system. So, she decided to go ahead and break her arm.
The long and short of it is that she fell off her bike right onto her elbow. By the time David and had carried her and her bike back to her house she was crying but not in that hysterical, shrieky way that severely injured kids cry. It was pretty swollen so we decided to take her to the hospital to get it checked out. After waiting a couple of hours and reading every single story in our Robert Munsch anthology we finally saw a doctor who very helpfully told us that she didn't see a fracture on the xray but elbow fractures are notoriously hard to see so we might want to see someone else but it might be fine but if we want we can go to an orthopaedic hospital just in case...if we want...maybe. I know that ER doctors are not specialists and can't be expected to know everything but how about giving us some good, solid information to help us out! I'm all over being an empowered patient but I expect a doctor to at least give some guidance when a decision needs to be made.
So Asha was in fairly good spirits at this point and we decided that a kid with a broken arm would be significantly more miserable. We decided to see if the swelling went down over the following couple of days and go to the orthopaedic hospital if things hadn't improved. The next day I got a call from a Dr. Dash (isn't that a fabulous name?!). He had reviewed the x-ray and suspected a fracture and suggested we get it checked out. So I dutifully packed Asha up and headed to the hospital that the doctor from the night before had mentioned in her useless rambling.
My heart sank as we entered the waiting room of the orthopaedic hospital. It was packed with families waiting to be seen by the doctor. I saw a long wait ahead of us. I also couldn't help but notice that 95% of the people there were Latino the majority of which didn't speak English. Don't white people break their bones sometimes? The only other white people there were the wierdest family I've ever seen. The son was in his early 20's and was showing off his transformer toy to his grandpa. I thought that maybe he was cognitively delayed or something but I'm pretty sure he was just really wierd. He kept yelling at his mom and telling her what to do while she played some game on her cell phone and loudly commented about it.
You know how they say there are stages of grief? Well for Asha there were a series of stages of meltdown. It began with indifference followed by excitement because there were TV's everywhere for her to watch! I must say, I don't have a whole lot of positive things to say about television but it sorta saved my life that day. I can only read Murmel Murmel Murmel so many times! The next stage of meltdown was anger when the masses of other kids in the waiting room wanted to share her toys. She lost her ever-loving mind whenever anyone went near her dress-up bears and I had to put them all away.
This was followed by a very very long stage of boredom. She was prepared to do cartwheels on her sore arm in order to get out of there. I was also starting to think that it was all a waste of time and we were going to wait all day to find out she was fine. But I was "pot committed" as they say in poker and I wasn't going to bail out at that point. We'd had lunch before we left and I'd only packed a few snacks since I thought we'd just be a couple of hours. The cafeteria closed at 3:00. What closes at 3:00 I ask you!! So we ate Cheetos for dinner.
7 1/2 hours later we finally saw the doctor. They took another series of x-rays and discovered that Asha's elbow was indeed fractured. They couldn't believe that the first doctor hadn't seen it. They told me that they would give Asha a shot of morphine and try to push the bone frament back into place and put it in a cast. I was told that the morphine might make her sleepy which sounded a-okay to me! I had visions of lovingly carrying my sleeping girl out to the truck, driving home, and putting her in bed where she belonged. Well the morphine seemed to make her not so much sleepy as unbearably grumpy and beligerent. She screamed for her dad (who wasn't there) the whole time they were putting on the cast. When the x-ray technician took one last set of x-rays Asha told him, and I quote, "get out of my life". When the doctor told us that the bone fragment looked like it was in place and surgery likely wouldn't be needed (a very real possibility up until that point) I said "thank you" and Asha scowled at him and said "no thank you". Oh dear. So the last stage of meltdown for Asha that night seemed to be beligerence. I think her little 4 year old brain was looking for someone to blame for all of this and she decided that he was a good scapegoat.
The next day we went back to the hospital to have the head doctor check everything out and luckily surgery will not be necessary. I don't want to find out what general anesthetic might to do Asha's disposition! We also got a call from the first hospital to make sure that we had followed up with a specialist. I would love to believe that they had Asha's well-being in mind but I'm pretty sure they had lawsuit alarm bells ringing all over the place.
I must say that overall Asha has been such a trooper through the whole process. Of course it is her right arm that is broken which is her dominant hand. She has just carried on with life and eats, writes, and plays with her left arm without any complaints. I still can't believe how tough she was for the entire day before she got a cast put on her arm. I think she has inherited a high pain tolerance from her dad and her Grandma. David once went home from the hospital despite severe abdominal pains only to return once his appendix had RUPTURED! My mom once told me that childbirth isn't so much painful as "a feeling of intense pressure".
Oh, and it turns out that Latino people aren't more frail than white people (or any other ethnicity for that matter). There are orthopaedic hospitals all over L.A. The doctor had not sent me to the one close by at UCLA but for some reason sent me downtown to the hospital that's in a predominantely Latino neighbourhood. I'm not sure if we would have had a shorter wait time at another hospital. Part of me wishes that we would have known but another part of me wonders if I should get a shorter wait just because I have fancy expensive Canadian travel health insurance. My day was kind of hellish but it wasn't as bad as the lady who had 4 hyper boys with her (and I'm pretty sure the oldest who was "injured" was faking... he had the fakest limp ever).
Well Asha is now sporting a flourescent pink cast from her armpit to her fingers. She wanted her cast to be "every colour except black" but they wouldn't let her have more than one colour. They said that no kid has ever asked for a rainbow cast before. That's the thing about my Asha. She can be rude sometimes. She can be grumpy every now and then. But boring she is not.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Go Trojans!
No, I did not have a bad parenting day and decide to publicly celebrate birth control (Trojans...condoms...get it?). No, today we went to our first ever college football game! It was one of the things on our list of things to do while we're in L.A. and as a USC student David thought he should support "his" team.
As you probably know, college football is kind of a big deal down here. There is a very fierce rivalry between USC and UCLA. When I auditioned for my choir the conductor, a UCLA alum asked what brought me to L.A.. When I told her that my husband was going to USC she said, very scathingly, "oh... the other school". I laughed but she wasn't kidding. I'm kind of surprised that I got into the choir! Well we weren't able to go to a USC vs. UCLA game but we thought a game against the Washington Huskies would suffice.
So to get in the spirit of things we went a bit early to check out the tailgate party which consisted of about a bazillion tents set up in the quad at the university. Pretty much every club, group, and organization had a tent set up. There was one for Latino USC students, USC parents, Jewish students, etc. Not to mention all the sororities and fraternities such as phi kappa sigma not to be confused with sigma kappa phi. It got me thinking about belonging and how we all want to feel as though we're a part of something. Apparently it isn't enough that they all go to the same school and cheer for the same team, they need to compartmentalize themselves even more. I'm thinking about started my own group for wives of USC students that like hummus.
So the tents were surrounded by people milling around and eating and drinking. Every tent seemed to have food but I was unsure if it was free for the taking. Can I take hummus from the Gay & Lesbian student tent if I'm not a lesbian nor a student? We saw a couple of guys shotguning cans of Coors light which made me comment "is there any point in shotguning light beer? Is it just like drinking normal beer at a normal pace?"
From the tents we headed over to the stadium. We were immediately struck by how seemingly sedate the crowd seemed to be. We found our seats and looked around. Then David noticed it. Nobody had beer! We were shocked! We had really been looking forward to eating some popcorn and drinking $10 watered down beer! Isn't that what football's all about? Suddenly I was wishing that I had shotguned a Coors light.
I'm not what you would call a football "fan". I understand the general rules. I get it that you have to get the ball across the field and you only have so many downs and you have to gain so many yards in a down and all that. My problem with football is that there so much downtime. There's about 5 minutes of set-up for a play that lasts 10 seconds that may or may not actually be exciting. I find my mind wandering when everyone's just standing around and then I miss the action. I don't know if it's my years of watching hockey (a game that actually has constant action) but I had a hard time staying focused. At one point David said "what these guys need are some skates! Then things would get interesting!". And what's with all the penalties? The whole point of the game is jumping on top of eachother but heaven forbid they should grab someone's facemask! For a game with so many stops and starts, I found all the penalties unbearable! I think the penalties in hockey are if nothing else more impressive sounding. Slashing! Roughing! Cross-checking!
But enough complaining about football! It turned out that USC were the far superior team. They made some really impressive plays and there were some very exciting moments. Of course, when a touchdown was scored the fairly calm crowd when wild! They have this thing they do that is hard to describe. It's sort of like a hail Hitler salute but with a peace sign (kind of contradictory, I know). The band would play a song and everyone would wave two fingers up and down to the beat. I felt a bit like I was in a cult or something but it was sort of fun. Another highlight was that whenever the Trojans got a touchdown their mascot came onto the field. Was their mascot some big freaky furry animal suit? No! Whenever they got a touchdown a white horse named Traveler would ride out with a man on its back wearing a full Roman warrior costume complete with metal breastplate and drawn sword.
The horse, if you can believe it was not my favourite part of the touchdown (or the 6 points scored for that matter). My favourite part was what I like to call the "stranger high 5". Everyone around us would jump up and start high 5-ing eachother like we were all best friends. It made me think again about that feeling of belonging. Yesterday I didn't give a crap about football, let alone this particular team but there I was today high 5-ing strangers like the happiest thing in the world had just happened. It was kinda nice.
So if you ever get a chance to see college ball I highly recommend it! I didn't even mention the marching band that had about 500 people in it. David kept talking about how dorky they were. I couldn't really disagree but I'm guessing it's not easy to walk around with a tuba on your shoulder playing a song, marching in time, and lining up with 499 other people to spell the word "Traveler".
Fight on! That's what people in the USC "family" say. You wouldn't get it. You're not part of the club.
As you probably know, college football is kind of a big deal down here. There is a very fierce rivalry between USC and UCLA. When I auditioned for my choir the conductor, a UCLA alum asked what brought me to L.A.. When I told her that my husband was going to USC she said, very scathingly, "oh... the other school". I laughed but she wasn't kidding. I'm kind of surprised that I got into the choir! Well we weren't able to go to a USC vs. UCLA game but we thought a game against the Washington Huskies would suffice.
So to get in the spirit of things we went a bit early to check out the tailgate party which consisted of about a bazillion tents set up in the quad at the university. Pretty much every club, group, and organization had a tent set up. There was one for Latino USC students, USC parents, Jewish students, etc. Not to mention all the sororities and fraternities such as phi kappa sigma not to be confused with sigma kappa phi. It got me thinking about belonging and how we all want to feel as though we're a part of something. Apparently it isn't enough that they all go to the same school and cheer for the same team, they need to compartmentalize themselves even more. I'm thinking about started my own group for wives of USC students that like hummus.
So the tents were surrounded by people milling around and eating and drinking. Every tent seemed to have food but I was unsure if it was free for the taking. Can I take hummus from the Gay & Lesbian student tent if I'm not a lesbian nor a student? We saw a couple of guys shotguning cans of Coors light which made me comment "is there any point in shotguning light beer? Is it just like drinking normal beer at a normal pace?"
From the tents we headed over to the stadium. We were immediately struck by how seemingly sedate the crowd seemed to be. We found our seats and looked around. Then David noticed it. Nobody had beer! We were shocked! We had really been looking forward to eating some popcorn and drinking $10 watered down beer! Isn't that what football's all about? Suddenly I was wishing that I had shotguned a Coors light.
I'm not what you would call a football "fan". I understand the general rules. I get it that you have to get the ball across the field and you only have so many downs and you have to gain so many yards in a down and all that. My problem with football is that there so much downtime. There's about 5 minutes of set-up for a play that lasts 10 seconds that may or may not actually be exciting. I find my mind wandering when everyone's just standing around and then I miss the action. I don't know if it's my years of watching hockey (a game that actually has constant action) but I had a hard time staying focused. At one point David said "what these guys need are some skates! Then things would get interesting!". And what's with all the penalties? The whole point of the game is jumping on top of eachother but heaven forbid they should grab someone's facemask! For a game with so many stops and starts, I found all the penalties unbearable! I think the penalties in hockey are if nothing else more impressive sounding. Slashing! Roughing! Cross-checking!
But enough complaining about football! It turned out that USC were the far superior team. They made some really impressive plays and there were some very exciting moments. Of course, when a touchdown was scored the fairly calm crowd when wild! They have this thing they do that is hard to describe. It's sort of like a hail Hitler salute but with a peace sign (kind of contradictory, I know). The band would play a song and everyone would wave two fingers up and down to the beat. I felt a bit like I was in a cult or something but it was sort of fun. Another highlight was that whenever the Trojans got a touchdown their mascot came onto the field. Was their mascot some big freaky furry animal suit? No! Whenever they got a touchdown a white horse named Traveler would ride out with a man on its back wearing a full Roman warrior costume complete with metal breastplate and drawn sword.
The horse, if you can believe it was not my favourite part of the touchdown (or the 6 points scored for that matter). My favourite part was what I like to call the "stranger high 5". Everyone around us would jump up and start high 5-ing eachother like we were all best friends. It made me think again about that feeling of belonging. Yesterday I didn't give a crap about football, let alone this particular team but there I was today high 5-ing strangers like the happiest thing in the world had just happened. It was kinda nice.
So if you ever get a chance to see college ball I highly recommend it! I didn't even mention the marching band that had about 500 people in it. David kept talking about how dorky they were. I couldn't really disagree but I'm guessing it's not easy to walk around with a tuba on your shoulder playing a song, marching in time, and lining up with 499 other people to spell the word "Traveler".
Fight on! That's what people in the USC "family" say. You wouldn't get it. You're not part of the club.
Monday, October 31, 2011
The last sentence of this post will shock and amaze you!
I saw a billboard for a movie the other day. It was one of those really scary, twisted movies and the tagline on the billboard was something along the lines of "the last 15 minutes will mess you up for life". I mean, really? People want to pay money to be messed up for life? I have to admit that I am kind of curious but the odds of me going to that movie are approximately zero. I'm a person who likes to be comfortable, both physically and mentally. I don't like rides that make me feel like I'm going to die. I don't like spicy food that brings tears to my eyes. And I don't like movies that mess me up for life. Or even make me jump a little. So anyway, I thought I would give this post an intriguing title to see if it hooks you!
The real subject of this post is security and paranoia. I must admit that I have a particularly lax view when it comes to security. When we left Whitecourt and rented out our house we had to search for keys to give the renters because we never locked our door, even when we were out of town. Now that we are in L.A. we have stepped up our security a bit but definitely not to the level of everyone else. The area where we live is a pretty safe, suburban-type area but it is adjacent to Inglewood. If you were ever a Tupac Shakur fan (or have ever gone to a bar with me when the song "California Love" came on) the line "Inglewood always up to no good" will be in your head now. So the area we're in is pretty good but the next 'hood over is kinda sketchy. Break-ins have been known to happen around here so we do lock our doors most of the time.
We have a neighbour that I sometimes give a ride to. A few times I have forgotten to lock the door when we left the house and she thinks that I am completely mental. The truth of the matter is that we don't actually have anything worth stealing. Seriously. The laptop I am writing on right now is probably the most valuable thing we have and it's usually out of the house with David (which, incidentally is why I don't blog more often). Our TV is legitimately heavier than it is worth. A robber would probably leave it behind for fear of putting out his back. I suppose they may want my ipod, particularly if they're a big Glee fan. When I told our neighbour that we don't have anything worth stealing she told me that they would steal our couch to which I replied that I guess we would have to get another one for 100 bucks on Craigslist.
I have made a concerted effort to simply my life over the past few years. I have significantly reduced the amount of stuff that we have and more importantly the amount of new stuff that we acquire. This has given us more financial security and allowed us to live the life that we want to. An unexpected perk has been that I don't fall prey to what I believe is complete and utter paranoia that someone is out to steal my stuff. I think most people spend far too much time and energy protecting their stuff. In general, I think that people feel that the world is unsafe and people are out to get them. I think that television is single-handedly responsible for this. When you're constantly being bombarded by news of break-ins, robberies, and abductions you think that they are a common occurrence.
OK, I've gotten a bit side-tracked. I should just write an entire post about TV and get it off my chest! What I really want to talk about is Halloween. There has been a significant decline in the number of kids trick-or-treating all over North America and I think it's tragic! I think it's a direct result of the aforementioned paranoia and a decline in the feeling of community in our neighbourhoods.
I have to admit that we were tragically a part of the problem this year. Our next door neighbour has been raving to Asha for weeks about the "harvest festival" that they have on Halloween at her church. So no matter how much we tried to convince Asha to go trick-or-treating she would hear none of it. I REFUSED to be one of those grumpy houses with the lights turned out so we left our porch light on with a bowl of candy on the step. I put a sign on it that read: "Please take 2 candies each". David gave it a 6.25% chance that there would be any candy left when we returned.
We had heard that most of the kids who live in our area went to the west side of Westchester which is fancier to go trick-or-treating. Most of the trick-or-treaters around here would be kids whose parents drove them in from Inglewood. What were the odds that that bowl wouldn't be emptied by some teenager 10 minutes after we left? Was that bowl and its accompanying sign a giant billboard advertising that we weren't home and would-be thieves were free to steal our Craigslist futon and my Glee-filled ipod? Mostly I left that bowl of candy out because I didn't want to be a house that didn't give out candy on Halloween. But I think I also left that bowl of candy as a bit of a test of humanity. I would rather be someone who was foolish and had faith in people but was burned in the end than a person who turned off their porch lights in fear.
Well here it comes, the sentence that will inspire shock and awe. Were we robbed? Had our house been toiletpapered and our jack-o-lanterns smashed? Had our candy bowl been ravaged by a greedy teenager?
When we got back to our house about 20 candies remained.
The real subject of this post is security and paranoia. I must admit that I have a particularly lax view when it comes to security. When we left Whitecourt and rented out our house we had to search for keys to give the renters because we never locked our door, even when we were out of town. Now that we are in L.A. we have stepped up our security a bit but definitely not to the level of everyone else. The area where we live is a pretty safe, suburban-type area but it is adjacent to Inglewood. If you were ever a Tupac Shakur fan (or have ever gone to a bar with me when the song "California Love" came on) the line "Inglewood always up to no good" will be in your head now. So the area we're in is pretty good but the next 'hood over is kinda sketchy. Break-ins have been known to happen around here so we do lock our doors most of the time.
We have a neighbour that I sometimes give a ride to. A few times I have forgotten to lock the door when we left the house and she thinks that I am completely mental. The truth of the matter is that we don't actually have anything worth stealing. Seriously. The laptop I am writing on right now is probably the most valuable thing we have and it's usually out of the house with David (which, incidentally is why I don't blog more often). Our TV is legitimately heavier than it is worth. A robber would probably leave it behind for fear of putting out his back. I suppose they may want my ipod, particularly if they're a big Glee fan. When I told our neighbour that we don't have anything worth stealing she told me that they would steal our couch to which I replied that I guess we would have to get another one for 100 bucks on Craigslist.
I have made a concerted effort to simply my life over the past few years. I have significantly reduced the amount of stuff that we have and more importantly the amount of new stuff that we acquire. This has given us more financial security and allowed us to live the life that we want to. An unexpected perk has been that I don't fall prey to what I believe is complete and utter paranoia that someone is out to steal my stuff. I think most people spend far too much time and energy protecting their stuff. In general, I think that people feel that the world is unsafe and people are out to get them. I think that television is single-handedly responsible for this. When you're constantly being bombarded by news of break-ins, robberies, and abductions you think that they are a common occurrence.
OK, I've gotten a bit side-tracked. I should just write an entire post about TV and get it off my chest! What I really want to talk about is Halloween. There has been a significant decline in the number of kids trick-or-treating all over North America and I think it's tragic! I think it's a direct result of the aforementioned paranoia and a decline in the feeling of community in our neighbourhoods.
I have to admit that we were tragically a part of the problem this year. Our next door neighbour has been raving to Asha for weeks about the "harvest festival" that they have on Halloween at her church. So no matter how much we tried to convince Asha to go trick-or-treating she would hear none of it. I REFUSED to be one of those grumpy houses with the lights turned out so we left our porch light on with a bowl of candy on the step. I put a sign on it that read: "Please take 2 candies each". David gave it a 6.25% chance that there would be any candy left when we returned.
We had heard that most of the kids who live in our area went to the west side of Westchester which is fancier to go trick-or-treating. Most of the trick-or-treaters around here would be kids whose parents drove them in from Inglewood. What were the odds that that bowl wouldn't be emptied by some teenager 10 minutes after we left? Was that bowl and its accompanying sign a giant billboard advertising that we weren't home and would-be thieves were free to steal our Craigslist futon and my Glee-filled ipod? Mostly I left that bowl of candy out because I didn't want to be a house that didn't give out candy on Halloween. But I think I also left that bowl of candy as a bit of a test of humanity. I would rather be someone who was foolish and had faith in people but was burned in the end than a person who turned off their porch lights in fear.
Well here it comes, the sentence that will inspire shock and awe. Were we robbed? Had our house been toiletpapered and our jack-o-lanterns smashed? Had our candy bowl been ravaged by a greedy teenager?
When we got back to our house about 20 candies remained.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
My name is Melissa, and I am a homemaker
I had to fill out a form the other day and it asked what my occupation was. I automatically wrote that I am a Speech Therapist because that's what I've defined myself as for the past 7 years. When I thought about it thought I realized that I am not in fact a practicing Speech Therapist. The state of California doesn't recognize me as such at all. They have a series of hoops that I must jump through including a course by course comparison for my Master's degree to a U.S. degree (which, I might add, costs $200) in order for me to practice as an SLP. So when I thought about it I realized that what I really am is a stay-at-home mom.
Until I really thought about this, I hadn't realized that now whenever someone asks what I do for a living I find it necessary to explain why I am not actually working as an SLP (visa issues, licensing issues, etc.). I haven't been able to work but the truth is I'm actually really happy to be staying home with my girls. It wasn't really the plan but I'm embracing it.
This also lead me to the question of what title I should be using. "Stay-at-home mom" isn't bad but there's something sort of passive about it. It seems sort of like a default position like "should I go and do something or should I just stay at home?". I am a Druett (my maiden name for those of you who may not know) by nature and therefore I tend to approach everything as a project. If I'm going to be a mom it's not going to be some passive thing I just do! I'm going to read books! Go to classes! I told my neighbour the other day that I had gone to a parenting class and she said "why?". I didn't know how to respond! Because that's what I do!
Anyway, when I thought about the term "homemaker" my first reaction was "yeuch". It sounds so outdated and anti-feminist. I think of women vacuuming in trim dresses and red lipstick and greeting their husbands at the door with a dry martini. But, when I thought about it, what's so wrong with being a person that makes a home? When you think of the word "home" doesn't it give you warm happy thoughts? I once heard that making a home-cooked meal for your family is an act of love. I truly believe that. Not everyone can cook a meal from scratch every day but there is something really loving about the act of doing so when you can. Now, I will never, ever enjoy cleaning. I hate it with every fibre of my being but it's a necessary evil. It's part of what makes our home safe and clean and enjoyable to be in. It helps that there isn't that much space for me to clean these days (see an earlier post)!
So yes, I am a homemaker and I'm OK with that. I am NOT a housewife. That's where I draw the line. That's just way too barbaric for me. I guess having kids saves me from feeling like too much of a throwback! I remember there was once a woman on my soccer team in Whitecourt who didn't work and didn't have kids. I remember one of the other ladies saying (behind her back of course) "oh my God! She's a kept woman!". It's just one of those things that you don't see every day! You know what though? She was really happy and I assume financially secure. She was writing a book or something so I guess she kept herself busy. So all the power to her! Isn't feminism about being able to do what you want?
So for now, I am a homemaker. I will end with my favourite quote of the moment:
"Educated women in the home? What an odd thing to deplore! What better place to have us 'end up'... What more important job is there than sharing the values we are learning to cherish with the next generation of adults? What more strategic place could there be for the educated woman?" - Edith F. Hunter
Until I really thought about this, I hadn't realized that now whenever someone asks what I do for a living I find it necessary to explain why I am not actually working as an SLP (visa issues, licensing issues, etc.). I haven't been able to work but the truth is I'm actually really happy to be staying home with my girls. It wasn't really the plan but I'm embracing it.
This also lead me to the question of what title I should be using. "Stay-at-home mom" isn't bad but there's something sort of passive about it. It seems sort of like a default position like "should I go and do something or should I just stay at home?". I am a Druett (my maiden name for those of you who may not know) by nature and therefore I tend to approach everything as a project. If I'm going to be a mom it's not going to be some passive thing I just do! I'm going to read books! Go to classes! I told my neighbour the other day that I had gone to a parenting class and she said "why?". I didn't know how to respond! Because that's what I do!
Anyway, when I thought about the term "homemaker" my first reaction was "yeuch". It sounds so outdated and anti-feminist. I think of women vacuuming in trim dresses and red lipstick and greeting their husbands at the door with a dry martini. But, when I thought about it, what's so wrong with being a person that makes a home? When you think of the word "home" doesn't it give you warm happy thoughts? I once heard that making a home-cooked meal for your family is an act of love. I truly believe that. Not everyone can cook a meal from scratch every day but there is something really loving about the act of doing so when you can. Now, I will never, ever enjoy cleaning. I hate it with every fibre of my being but it's a necessary evil. It's part of what makes our home safe and clean and enjoyable to be in. It helps that there isn't that much space for me to clean these days (see an earlier post)!
So yes, I am a homemaker and I'm OK with that. I am NOT a housewife. That's where I draw the line. That's just way too barbaric for me. I guess having kids saves me from feeling like too much of a throwback! I remember there was once a woman on my soccer team in Whitecourt who didn't work and didn't have kids. I remember one of the other ladies saying (behind her back of course) "oh my God! She's a kept woman!". It's just one of those things that you don't see every day! You know what though? She was really happy and I assume financially secure. She was writing a book or something so I guess she kept herself busy. So all the power to her! Isn't feminism about being able to do what you want?
So for now, I am a homemaker. I will end with my favourite quote of the moment:
"Educated women in the home? What an odd thing to deplore! What better place to have us 'end up'... What more important job is there than sharing the values we are learning to cherish with the next generation of adults? What more strategic place could there be for the educated woman?" - Edith F. Hunter
Monday, October 17, 2011
A World of Laughter, A World of Tears
Well it was inevitable. We've been in L.A. for over 4 months now and we finally did it. Yes, we finally visited "happiest place on Earth". David's mom was here for a week and what she wanted to do most was take the girls to Disneyland. Once David got over his severe bitterness over the fact that she didn't take him to Disneyland when he was a kid we decided it would be a fun thing to do.
We kept the whole thing very hush hush from Asha partly because we didn't want to deal with constant questioning about when we were going and partly because we went on a Friday to avoid the weekend rush and I was scared to tell Asha's teacher that she was missing school to go see Mickey Mouse. Have I mentioned Ms. Lucy yet? She's really nice and great with the kids but she scares the bejeezus out of me. She's very particular about attendance and punctuality. On the first day of class she pointed out all the parents that were late which included me (traffic, in L.A.? Who knew?). So I told Ms. Lucy that Asha's grandmother was visiting and we were going "out of town". David thinks this was lying but Disneyland is in Anaheim which is a different city! We had to take 4 different freeways to get there!
Anyway, on Thursday night we told Asha we were going somewhere special the next day but we didn't say where. When she woke up the next day we asked her where she thought we might be going. She said "well I was thinking about it nast light (she pronounces "last night" like that and I have never corrected her because it's so damn cute. Does that make me a bad Speech Pathologist?) and I was thinking maybe we were going to Randy's Donuts". Randy's Donuts is a lesser known L.A. landmark. It's a walk-up donut place with a giant donut that's about 30 feet in diameter on the roof. You can imagine that it's very intriguing to a 4 year old. I think she might think that they sell 30 foot donuts there. Well we told her that we were not going to Randy's Donuts but in fact were going to Disneyland and she was pretty excited all the while questioning about the availability of donuts at Disneyland.
Look at me embedding pictures into my blog!
Well, I was pretty prepared to hate Disneyland. The Disney corporation represents many of the ills that plague modern society in my mind: mass consumerism, marketing that targets children, anti-feminism etc. etc. But the trouble with Disneyland is that, well, it's kind of awesome! The rides are really fun and well maintained. The most popular rides have a "fast pass" system so you can essentially skip the long line-ups. The parade and fireworks were fantastic. There is crap to buy EVERYWHERE but it's surprisingly not shoved in your face. You can even bring in your own food so you don't have to shell out $8.00 for a piece of pizza if you don't want to.
We did most of the typical Disneyland stuff. We went on the "It's a small world" ride. David had never heard of the ride or the song. Sometimes I think he lives in a bubble. He once asked me who Bono is. I mean, really?? Anyway, I described the ride as what I imagined an acid trip would be like if one were to drop acid. Since I was expecting it to be demented I found it quite enjoyable. David was somewhat disturbed by it. Nia, on the other hand, thought it was just about the best thing ever.
Asha met not only Mickey Mouse but also Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. She told me that they weren't the actually princesses but just ladies dressed up as them. I'm not sure if she thought Mickey was an actual mouse. I don't want to ask in case she thinks he's real and I burst her bubble. David and I went on the Indiana Jones ride. He had a little talk with me the night before about how Disneyland was going to be fun and I shouldn't spoil it by being no fun (i.e., bailing on all the rides). I responded by saying that the only thing less fun than a mom who doesn't go on rides is a mom who spends the day at Disneyland barfing. We decided that Indiana Jones was a happy medium between Space Mountain and the teacups. The Indiana Jones ride was, well, awesome! We rode around in a jeep and were chased by rolling boulders and creepy crawlies. We went right through a ghost and felt bullets whiz past our faces.
So all in all it was a great day. Is Disneyland the happiest place on Earth? Well judging by the number of kids have complete and utter meltdowns at any given moment I'm going to say no. Was it worth going to? Definitely. At the end of the day we asked Asha if she thought Disneyland was better than Randy's Donuts and she said that she hasn't been to Randy's Donuts yet so she wasn't sure. We'll get there someday and I'll let you know what the verdict is.
P.S. On a completely different note... I feel like this blog is very Asha-centric and I am always commenting on her genius and ignoring Nia's. This is purely because of their respective ages I am sure. Well I have decided that Nia is also a genius because today she learned to blow her nose. Now if you're not very familiar with kids this may not sound impressive but I have met many a 5 year old who can't do this! She's 13 months old! She may not walk yet but she is a nasal genius.
We kept the whole thing very hush hush from Asha partly because we didn't want to deal with constant questioning about when we were going and partly because we went on a Friday to avoid the weekend rush and I was scared to tell Asha's teacher that she was missing school to go see Mickey Mouse. Have I mentioned Ms. Lucy yet? She's really nice and great with the kids but she scares the bejeezus out of me. She's very particular about attendance and punctuality. On the first day of class she pointed out all the parents that were late which included me (traffic, in L.A.? Who knew?). So I told Ms. Lucy that Asha's grandmother was visiting and we were going "out of town". David thinks this was lying but Disneyland is in Anaheim which is a different city! We had to take 4 different freeways to get there!
Anyway, on Thursday night we told Asha we were going somewhere special the next day but we didn't say where. When she woke up the next day we asked her where she thought we might be going. She said "well I was thinking about it nast light (she pronounces "last night" like that and I have never corrected her because it's so damn cute. Does that make me a bad Speech Pathologist?) and I was thinking maybe we were going to Randy's Donuts". Randy's Donuts is a lesser known L.A. landmark. It's a walk-up donut place with a giant donut that's about 30 feet in diameter on the roof. You can imagine that it's very intriguing to a 4 year old. I think she might think that they sell 30 foot donuts there. Well we told her that we were not going to Randy's Donuts but in fact were going to Disneyland and she was pretty excited all the while questioning about the availability of donuts at Disneyland.
Look at me embedding pictures into my blog! Well, I was pretty prepared to hate Disneyland. The Disney corporation represents many of the ills that plague modern society in my mind: mass consumerism, marketing that targets children, anti-feminism etc. etc. But the trouble with Disneyland is that, well, it's kind of awesome! The rides are really fun and well maintained. The most popular rides have a "fast pass" system so you can essentially skip the long line-ups. The parade and fireworks were fantastic. There is crap to buy EVERYWHERE but it's surprisingly not shoved in your face. You can even bring in your own food so you don't have to shell out $8.00 for a piece of pizza if you don't want to.
We did most of the typical Disneyland stuff. We went on the "It's a small world" ride. David had never heard of the ride or the song. Sometimes I think he lives in a bubble. He once asked me who Bono is. I mean, really?? Anyway, I described the ride as what I imagined an acid trip would be like if one were to drop acid. Since I was expecting it to be demented I found it quite enjoyable. David was somewhat disturbed by it. Nia, on the other hand, thought it was just about the best thing ever.
Asha met not only Mickey Mouse but also Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. She told me that they weren't the actually princesses but just ladies dressed up as them. I'm not sure if she thought Mickey was an actual mouse. I don't want to ask in case she thinks he's real and I burst her bubble. David and I went on the Indiana Jones ride. He had a little talk with me the night before about how Disneyland was going to be fun and I shouldn't spoil it by being no fun (i.e., bailing on all the rides). I responded by saying that the only thing less fun than a mom who doesn't go on rides is a mom who spends the day at Disneyland barfing. We decided that Indiana Jones was a happy medium between Space Mountain and the teacups. The Indiana Jones ride was, well, awesome! We rode around in a jeep and were chased by rolling boulders and creepy crawlies. We went right through a ghost and felt bullets whiz past our faces.
So all in all it was a great day. Is Disneyland the happiest place on Earth? Well judging by the number of kids have complete and utter meltdowns at any given moment I'm going to say no. Was it worth going to? Definitely. At the end of the day we asked Asha if she thought Disneyland was better than Randy's Donuts and she said that she hasn't been to Randy's Donuts yet so she wasn't sure. We'll get there someday and I'll let you know what the verdict is.
P.S. On a completely different note... I feel like this blog is very Asha-centric and I am always commenting on her genius and ignoring Nia's. This is purely because of their respective ages I am sure. Well I have decided that Nia is also a genius because today she learned to blow her nose. Now if you're not very familiar with kids this may not sound impressive but I have met many a 5 year old who can't do this! She's 13 months old! She may not walk yet but she is a nasal genius.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Home again, home again, jiggity jig
So I don't intend on going back to Canada for a visit every month that I'm here but it seems to be working out that way. My sister, who lives in England was in Canada for a visit and my parents very graciously flew me and the girls up so the whole family could be together. I haven't seen my sister, her husband, and my nephew for 2 years and I have never before met my niece who is 9 months old. David stayed home because he had classes and an exam.
Well needless to say, my new little niece is ridiculously adorable. My nephew is delightful and not only because he has the cutest little accent ever. He had a fascinating conversation with Asha about the fact that in England they call underwear "pants" and pants "trousers". Asha has told pretty much every person in L.A. that since we've been back. I found myself feeling like a complete hick because my accent sounded so coarse compared to his. Apparently he said to my sister when they had a moment alone "Mum, Auntie Melissa always calls me 'dude'. What does that mean?". Overall, it was lovely to spend some time with my sisters and amazing to see all 7 of the new generation together.
So in the spirit of Thanksgiving I want to say what I was thankful for this weekend. Firstly I am thankful for my husband who was so jealous that I "got to" go on a plane with Asha and Nia. I personally was jealous that he got to sleep in lay on the beach without stopping Asha from getting washed away and Nia from eating rotting seaweed. David has a bit of a romantic notion about flying with children because he hasn't actually done it in a while. But, he reminded me that there are fun moments when flying with children when I'm not helping Asha in the tiny bathroom while holding a sleeping baby.
Next I am thankful for my sisters. I can honestly say that despite the fact that we have children that are all very close in age we just truly adore them all. There is legitimately no envy, one-upmanship, or competition between us. It helps that all of them happen to be gorgeous as well as brilliant (but I may be a tad biased).
I am also thankful for my wonderful in-laws. I knew that I have a great relationship with them but it really hit home when I was talking to David on the phone and he asked if it was wierd being there without him or Jeanette. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that it would be wierd at all. I think that's pretty rare.
Finally, I am thankful for my parents who made the whole thing happen. Not only did they get us all together for the first time in 2 years but they let us overrun their home. And when I say overrun I am not exaggerating! That place was a madhouse complete with two babies, an adorable yet slightly evil 2 year old, 2 very energetic boys, a 4 year old girl who loudly sings approximately 75% of the time, and a love-sick teenager.
Well this list is obviously not exhaustive and I am also thankful for the rest of my family and friends. I am definitely a very lucky girl. On a side note, Thanksgiving marked the 1 year anniversary of my becoming a vegetarian, or to be precise, a pescatarian because I still eat fish. I officially reduced my carbon footprint by 1 tonne for the last year. Unfortunately that's about equivalent to the carbon burned by my plane trip home but let's focus on the positives, shall we?
Well needless to say, my new little niece is ridiculously adorable. My nephew is delightful and not only because he has the cutest little accent ever. He had a fascinating conversation with Asha about the fact that in England they call underwear "pants" and pants "trousers". Asha has told pretty much every person in L.A. that since we've been back. I found myself feeling like a complete hick because my accent sounded so coarse compared to his. Apparently he said to my sister when they had a moment alone "Mum, Auntie Melissa always calls me 'dude'. What does that mean?". Overall, it was lovely to spend some time with my sisters and amazing to see all 7 of the new generation together.
So in the spirit of Thanksgiving I want to say what I was thankful for this weekend. Firstly I am thankful for my husband who was so jealous that I "got to" go on a plane with Asha and Nia. I personally was jealous that he got to sleep in lay on the beach without stopping Asha from getting washed away and Nia from eating rotting seaweed. David has a bit of a romantic notion about flying with children because he hasn't actually done it in a while. But, he reminded me that there are fun moments when flying with children when I'm not helping Asha in the tiny bathroom while holding a sleeping baby.
Next I am thankful for my sisters. I can honestly say that despite the fact that we have children that are all very close in age we just truly adore them all. There is legitimately no envy, one-upmanship, or competition between us. It helps that all of them happen to be gorgeous as well as brilliant (but I may be a tad biased).
I am also thankful for my wonderful in-laws. I knew that I have a great relationship with them but it really hit home when I was talking to David on the phone and he asked if it was wierd being there without him or Jeanette. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that it would be wierd at all. I think that's pretty rare.
Finally, I am thankful for my parents who made the whole thing happen. Not only did they get us all together for the first time in 2 years but they let us overrun their home. And when I say overrun I am not exaggerating! That place was a madhouse complete with two babies, an adorable yet slightly evil 2 year old, 2 very energetic boys, a 4 year old girl who loudly sings approximately 75% of the time, and a love-sick teenager.
Well this list is obviously not exhaustive and I am also thankful for the rest of my family and friends. I am definitely a very lucky girl. On a side note, Thanksgiving marked the 1 year anniversary of my becoming a vegetarian, or to be precise, a pescatarian because I still eat fish. I officially reduced my carbon footprint by 1 tonne for the last year. Unfortunately that's about equivalent to the carbon burned by my plane trip home but let's focus on the positives, shall we?
Friday, September 30, 2011
Posting Comments part deux
OK, so it looks like I'm not the only one who can't post comments. I'm sort of glad because it means that I'm not just being a moron. It annoys me though because I don't know how to fix it. When I googled it I found advice about cookies and stuff which just made me hungry.
Anyway, I think the only way to do it is to choose the "name" option from the dropdown box and then you can just leave the URL part blank. I would love to get some more comments! It would be great if this blog could be sort of like a dialogue. Let me know if you try to post a comment this way and it doesn't work!
Anyway, I think the only way to do it is to choose the "name" option from the dropdown box and then you can just leave the URL part blank. I would love to get some more comments! It would be great if this blog could be sort of like a dialogue. Let me know if you try to post a comment this way and it doesn't work!
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