Happy 4th everyone! That seems to be what they say down here. Not "happy 4th of July" but "happy 4th!". As I am writing this it literally sounds like a warzone outside as the entire city has been setting off fireworks for over an hour! Asha and I watched some just down the street from our house. And I'm not talking about the hoky little fireworks that go about 3 feet in the air one at a time. These were serious starbursts that shot at least 100 feet in the air. These Americans sure know how to celebrate!
But that's not what I really planned to write about... How are you? I think it's very interesting how people respond to this question. I once wrote a paper in university about this. My hypothesis was that most people say "good" regardless of how they actually are and that when someone asks "how are you?" they don't actually care about your state of well-being. My prof didn't agree.
The reason that I'm thinking about this again is that I met a woman the other day and she seemed very nice. She's from LA but lives in India and her husband actually works in Bollywood! How interesting is that? The next few times I saw her whenever I would ask "how are you?" she would say "I'm hanging in there". What kind of thing is that to say? It's just such a negative response! Well when I actually spent some time with her I discovered that she is really friendly a quite a positive person.
On the same topic, one of David's classmates asked him how he was the other day and he said "fantastic" and she was so impressed! David also knew someone once who would give actual percentages in response to the question (as in "I'm about 65% today"). Unfortunately he was usually around 60% and never much more.
So I guess what I'm getting at is that I wonder how a person's response to this question reflects who they are to the world? I also wonder how it affects your own mood. Is it possible to "fake it till you make it" so that if you say you're great even if you're not you'll start to feel better? Hmmm.
Great Blog Melissa, something I have definitely pondered before. To answer your questions in my opinion I would normally respond to someone I don't know very well with, "good" even if I wasn't. If I have no personal relationship with them I would fake it :) If I am feeling crappy one day and let's say a friend calls, then you bet I am all out honest. But I also think if that same friend calls often I don't always want to let the negative out either. I think as long as there is a balance between the negative and positive in a, "how are you" then it keeps you truly interested and caring in how they are and not assuming what the answer will be. Some days are good and some days are not and that's just being human. I think it's to who and how often you actually say, "I'm hanging in there", and if the hanging in there lady mixed it up a bit, maybe she would not be perceived as negative? I would also agree with your, "fake it till you make it" if you have nothing but rainy days, if you decide to start focusing on sunshine, one day your life will be filled with it along with an the odd thundershower.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing, I enjoy reading them!