Friday, September 30, 2011

Posting Comments part deux

OK, so it looks like I'm not the only one who can't post comments. I'm sort of glad because it means that I'm not just being a moron. It annoys me though because I don't know how to fix it. When I googled it I found advice about cookies and stuff which just made me hungry.

Anyway, I think the only way to do it is to choose the "name" option from the dropdown box and then you can just leave the URL part blank. I would love to get some more comments! It would be great if this blog could be sort of like a dialogue. Let me know if you try to post a comment this way and it doesn't work!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Alternate magnifying glass

OK, so I know I write about Asha way too much and you're probably all sick of it but I just can't help it! She's so funny and I'm pretty sure also a friggin' genius. Here's what she said to me today: "We should get an alternate magnifying glass" to which I replied "and what would that be?". She said that it is like a magnifying glass but it takes big things and makes them look smaller. When I asked her where she heard that she said she just thought of it on her own. I grilled her on where she might have heard of it but she swore she got it from her own head. (I know that this it true because although she is brilliant she isn't a good liar. I think it legitimately hasn't occurred to her to lie yet.) Anyway, an alternate magnifying glass?? Isn't that amazing? She never ceases to amaze me with her imagination.

Well I have decided that Asha and Nia are my alternate magnifying glasses. The world is so vast and full of ideas and images and experiences but they help me hone in on what really matters. My world is pretty simple and small but I like it that way.

The other thing that I love about Asha is her unabashed wierdness. She starts school at 7:45 in the morning. Yes, you read that right. It's ridiculous. Well when we're waiting outside of the classroom (yes we get there early because Asha's teacher, Ms. Lucy is a punctuality NAZI!) Asha's routine is to run around like a crazy person on the grass. Most of the kids are looking bleary eyed and tired and Asha is literally running circles around them. Two of the girls in her class are named Charlotte and Cosette. Do you have a mental image of these girls? Well that image is likely bang-on. They are both very sweet, pretty girls. They usually stand politely with their moms looking slightly afraid of yet also slightly amused by Asha. Today Asha decided that it was backward day and she should walk backwards into class. At first Charlotte and Cozy (as she's called) looked unsure but eventually both decided it looked fun too. Ms. Lucy was a bit stunned but very amused as all of the kids walked into class backwards.

I predict that Asha is not going to be a cool kid but neither will she be a social reject. I think she's going to be the girl that the high school Mean Girls despise but everyone else likes. I also think that with her spice and immense creativity she just may rule the world some day. I mean, if she can get a Shirley Temple look-alike named Cosette (who had her initials monogrammed on her dress I might add) to walk backwards she can do just about anything!!

P.S. Do you have "Castle on a Cloud" in your head now? Every damn day I say hello to Cosette and I walk away with that song in my head! I always want to sng "Cosette, I love you very much" to her but I figure they're either sick to death of that or else I would look like a creepy pedophile!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Pros and Cons

Well we've been living in L.A. for about 3 months now. When we were back in Canada for a quick visit most people asked how I like living here and how it compares to living back home. My answer was usually "well, there are pros and cons". So, in no particular order here are the pros and cons of living in L.A.:

Pro - The freeways. When the freeways are relatively traffic-free they are such a fantastic way to get around. You have anywhere from 5 to 7 lanes to choose from and you can comfortably go about 110 km/hr and zip from one end of the city to the other.
Con - The freeways. During rush hour but also at other random, unexpected times (such as 3pm on a Sunday) the freeways get ridiculously backed up and you creep along at 15 km/hr. I always think that there must be an accident ahead but there never is. I have been told that one should always have spare food and water in your vehicle in case you get stuck on the freeway for hours. Seriously.

Pro - Lots of ethnic diversity. It's very cool to go the the park or even Asha's classroom and be surrounded by people of all sorts of ethnicities. You can literally get authentic food from every single country in the world somewhere in L.A. Asha's learning a little bit of Spanish although for some reason she's gotten it in her head that "four" is "mothro" in Spanish and she tells me I'm wrong if I tell her otherwise.
Con - Lots of ethnic/economic disparity. The neighourhoods are quite racially segregated and there's a fairly distinct unspoken caste system when it comes to employment. The whole economy seems to be dependent on the sweat of cheap, Mexican labour.

Pro - The weather. It has just started to get a bit cloudy sometimes but the summer was entirely cloud-free. We haven't had a drop of rain yet. The west side of L.A. where we live also benefits from the winds that come off the ocean so it doesn't get too hot in the summer as it does further east in the valley. We haven't had a winter here yet but I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that it'll be better than an Alberta winter. I told someone the other day about how we plow and shovel our snow into giant snowbanks and she didn't believe me.
Con - Hmm. Let's see... Nope, I can't think of a con when it comes to the weather. No opportunity for cloud-gazing? Oh wait, how about the fact that people use huge amounts of water shipped from hundreds of miles north to water their lawns. It's ridiculous and sickening. But that's what you have to do when you live in the desert and you want a beautiful lawn. People also seem to wash their cars CONSTANTLY. I'm not exaggerating when I say that most people wash their vehicle at least once a week. I'm also not exaggerating when I say that our truck is the dirtiest vehicle in the entire state.

Pro - A generally positive attitude. People are just so damn happy to be American! The patriotism here is kind of cool. I think that all the sun and good weather is also somewhat responsible for people being in a generally good mood. I've said it before but people in  L.A. are pretty much always really friendly and nice.
Con - I think that Americans may be so busy being pleased with themselves that they don't see that their whole system is broken. In L.A. at least, they have a fairly high sales tax and property taxes are very high but I can't figure out where all that money goes! Certainly not toward health care or education or infrastructure for that matter. I guess I do have an inkling of where it goes but maybe I shouldn't write it for fear of getting thrown out of the country. Let's just say this - do you know how much it is costing to keep American troups in Afghanistan? $1 billion a week. For real.

Well that's all for now but in order to stay true to form I will end on a positive note. We went to Hollywood for the first time last night and saw the Walk of Fame and handprints in the sidewalk and all that stuff. My hands are the same size as Julie Andrews' so I'm basically famous now. I also may or may not have seen that Asian guy from The Hangover. Did I mention that I also may or may not have seen the red-headed kid from Harry Potter at the airport last month?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Happiness is... having a good babysitter (or 2!)

I've had a few people ask if things are really going as well as they seem in my blog and emails. Well I do tend to be overly positive in my blog posts and email updates because I figure no one really wants to hear me whine! Although it's not always rainbow and butterflies and I definitely have my bad days I am doing really well here in L.A..

Today was a particularly fabulous day. David and I generally take turns getting up first in the morning and today was his morning so I was able to sleep in. Now there was a time in my life when sleeping in meant staying in bed until noon. Now my life is such that sleeping until 7:45 like heaven. David and Asha decided they should all go for a bike ride so my "sleeping in" included listening to Asha talk loudly to David while he hooked the trailer up to the bike for 15 minutes as Stobie's tail banged against my door. I then had 15 minutes of glorious silence until my family greeted my with tea in bed.

After breakfast Asha and I made cookies. I always think that baking with Asha will be fun until I remember that for her "baking" is not about the finished product but about tasting everything along the way (including the salt right out of the shaker). We managed to save a little bit of cookie dough for making actual cookies!

When we came to L.A. I figured we wouldn't be making too many friends with the people from David's school. I didn't think there would be very many people with kids and I worried that the people in his program would be sort of upitty. This was confirmed when David came home from his first day of school and reported that most of the students drove BMW's and Land Rovers. Well David hasn't really found any kindred spirits but he has made a few friends. One classmate has a similar way of thinking to David and his wife just had a baby last week so they have a few things in common. He did, however recently email David about all of the fantastic premium outlet malls in the L.A.. Ha ha! I guess he doesn't know David very well yet!

Well Charlene, one of David's classmates invited us to a barbeque at her house along with a few other people from their school. Charlene and her husband live in one of the oldest neighbourhoods in L.A. and they are surrounded by huge 100 year old houses at various stages of dilapidation and repair. I expected Miss Havisham to peek her head out of one of the windows as we drove by.

Luckily we recently found a couple of great babysitters so we were able to leave the girls at home and actually enjoy some adult company. We drank beer, ate salmon and grilled corn on the cob, and had proper conversations without continually cutting food into small pieces and stopping our children from eating dirt. Charlene and her husband Tobin are both architects and seem really nice and down to earth. Ken, another classmate is a tad socially awkward but one of those people who doesn't talk much but then throws out something brilliant every now and then. The other couple at the party were aptly named Hillary and Weston. They are also very nice but they fit the "fancy people" stereotype that I expected to be in David's program. They were people that I probably never would have hung out in any other situation but they were really interesting. I found out such interesting tidbits as where the term "Ivey League" came from and where Reese Witherspoon hangs out.

We had a great visit and great food but the best part of the day was returning back home. Asha was mad because she didn't want her babysitter Christi to leave (always a good sign!). They had made a fort out of the boxes in the garage, a game that all of the other kids in the neighbourhood are completely sick of. Absence had made my heart grow fonder and I was even willing to be the evil queen who had trapped Princess Asha in the tower of boxes. I was then rescued by the girls across the street who came to play and were willing to be fellow princesses for a while.

So overall a fantastic day! I truly think the key to happy parenthood is a good babysitter! The benefits are endless! You get some kid-free time. Your kids get someone new to play with who isn't sick of playing in boxes yet. And being apart lets you and your kids miss eachother when you get back! Perfect! (I won't mention the fact that Nia is getting all 4 molars at once and screamed when we tried to put her to bed. No, that would be too whiny of me!)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

How Do They Do It?

Well I haven't written in a while and I'll tell you why. I always feel like I need to have something fantastic to write. I've started a few posts but I always doubt myself because I fear that I'm being too judgemental and/or boring and/or opinionated and/or pessimistic and/or optimistic etc. So I've decided to set a time to write every week and I'll just say whatever comes to mind. We humans tend to take ourselves too seriously don't we?

So here's the opinionate blog that I've been writing in my head but I haven't put down. Thanks to Jeanette for encouraging me to write whatever I think even if it irritates people! I guess that's why blogs are good because people are able to comment right away unlike a book or something like that.

So. Last weekend we met up with a friend of mine and her family. They are really nice and have a daughter Asha's age. They also live about 100 yards from the beach so we met up at their house for lunch and then headed out to the beach together. Well I think I've mentioned this woman before in my blog. We met at the park and she's a bit uptight and seems to feel the need to prove herself all the time. I totally get this because there's nothing like motherhood to make you feel completely insecure and judged by all. She works full time and has commented a few times that she feels judged for it. She also told me that she's a better mom when she works because she's not the stay-at-home mom type.

When we arrived at their house we were greeted by ocean views and a beautiful open floor plan. The house has a fabulous winding staircase up the middle and a gorgeous backyard. We talked about the beginning of school and she commented several times on the yoga pant wearing moms who drop off their kids at school who seem to sneer at her in her work clothes as though she is a terrible, heartless working mother. "How do they do it?" she said. "How can they afford to live in Los Angeles and stay home with their kids?". Well I don't know this woman well and I'm also working on being less judgemental (I have been horribly judgemental in the past and I am really trying to change that but I think that I may have gone too far to the point where I never state my opinions. Hence, my inability to write honest blog posts... but that's another topic). Anyway, what I wanted to say was "maybe they don't live in 2,500 sq ft houses steps away from the beach that are filled with fabulous furniture and have 2 brand new vehicles parked outside!". Yuck. I hate even writing that but that's what I thought.

What you also need to know about my friend is that she and her husband are both engineers so they are likely doing pretty well for themselves. The other thing that I wanted to say to her is "do you honestly want to be a yoga pant mom? If you don't that's OK! But if you do, you can be! You can live in a 817 sq ft house with planes going by every 5 minutes. You can take the bus for a buck fifty a pop and buy your furniture on Craigslist!" I may or may not be speaking from experience.

So I guess my point is, and I think I may write an entire post about this in the future, I believe that everyone needs to decide what they really truly want in life and what their priorities are. It can be really hard to figure out what your priorities are as opposed to what you think they should be. I think feminism has done women a disservice in a way because we feel like we need to be able to do it all. If you prioritize your job than you are a bad mom. If you choose to stay at home you are wasting your brain and education.

So since I don't feel like I know my new friend well enough to say it to her I'm going to say it to the ether instead. I think what she wants is to work full time and live in a beautiful home and be a mom as well. And that's OK! I think the yoga pants moms want to be home with their kids during they day (which likely includes a yoga class while the kids are at school, hence the pants) and that's OK!

I read a book called "Living Simply with Children" when Asha was a baby and it encourages you to come up with a mission statement for your family. You then set out to redesign your life to fit that mission statement. For me, that included not working full-time which resulted in some sacrifice. The added bonus of that is that I have no fear of anyone breaking into our house because we literally have nothing of value! It's actually sort of freeing.  I'm not saying I have it all figured out but I feel that I am living the life that I want to live. It sounds obvious but I'm not sure that most people really are living the life that they want to live. Oh God, I sound like Oprah. Time to sign off.

But one more thing because I just read over what I've written and I feel like a know-it-all bitch. I do want to note that I have been very lucky in my life and I know that it's not always so easy for others to "live the life they want to live". There are many factors that people can't change (being born into poverty, abuse, disability, etc.) and I happen to have been very lucky in all those areas and I whole-heartedly acknowledge that! But the vast majority of factors in our lives are things that we can change (home, spouse, possessions, job, etc.) and I don't think there's a good excuse for letting your life be less than the best it can be. Oh geez, I seriously need to stop writing now before I get any cheesier.