I saw a billboard for a movie the other day. It was one of those really scary, twisted movies and the tagline on the billboard was something along the lines of "the last 15 minutes will mess you up for life". I mean, really? People want to pay money to be messed up for life? I have to admit that I am kind of curious but the odds of me going to that movie are approximately zero. I'm a person who likes to be comfortable, both physically and mentally. I don't like rides that make me feel like I'm going to die. I don't like spicy food that brings tears to my eyes. And I don't like movies that mess me up for life. Or even make me jump a little. So anyway, I thought I would give this post an intriguing title to see if it hooks you!
The real subject of this post is security and paranoia. I must admit that I have a particularly lax view when it comes to security. When we left Whitecourt and rented out our house we had to search for keys to give the renters because we never locked our door, even when we were out of town. Now that we are in L.A. we have stepped up our security a bit but definitely not to the level of everyone else. The area where we live is a pretty safe, suburban-type area but it is adjacent to Inglewood. If you were ever a Tupac Shakur fan (or have ever gone to a bar with me when the song "California Love" came on) the line "Inglewood always up to no good" will be in your head now. So the area we're in is pretty good but the next 'hood over is kinda sketchy. Break-ins have been known to happen around here so we do lock our doors most of the time.
We have a neighbour that I sometimes give a ride to. A few times I have forgotten to lock the door when we left the house and she thinks that I am completely mental. The truth of the matter is that we don't actually have anything worth stealing. Seriously. The laptop I am writing on right now is probably the most valuable thing we have and it's usually out of the house with David (which, incidentally is why I don't blog more often). Our TV is legitimately heavier than it is worth. A robber would probably leave it behind for fear of putting out his back. I suppose they may want my ipod, particularly if they're a big Glee fan. When I told our neighbour that we don't have anything worth stealing she told me that they would steal our couch to which I replied that I guess we would have to get another one for 100 bucks on Craigslist.
I have made a concerted effort to simply my life over the past few years. I have significantly reduced the amount of stuff that we have and more importantly the amount of new stuff that we acquire. This has given us more financial security and allowed us to live the life that we want to. An unexpected perk has been that I don't fall prey to what I believe is complete and utter paranoia that someone is out to steal my stuff. I think most people spend far too much time and energy protecting their stuff. In general, I think that people feel that the world is unsafe and people are out to get them. I think that television is single-handedly responsible for this. When you're constantly being bombarded by news of break-ins, robberies, and abductions you think that they are a common occurrence.
OK, I've gotten a bit side-tracked. I should just write an entire post about TV and get it off my chest! What I really want to talk about is Halloween. There has been a significant decline in the number of kids trick-or-treating all over North America and I think it's tragic! I think it's a direct result of the aforementioned paranoia and a decline in the feeling of community in our neighbourhoods.
I have to admit that we were tragically a part of the problem this year. Our next door neighbour has been raving to Asha for weeks about the "harvest festival" that they have on Halloween at her church. So no matter how much we tried to convince Asha to go trick-or-treating she would hear none of it. I REFUSED to be one of those grumpy houses with the lights turned out so we left our porch light on with a bowl of candy on the step. I put a sign on it that read: "Please take 2 candies each". David gave it a 6.25% chance that there would be any candy left when we returned.
We had heard that most of the kids who live in our area went to the west side of Westchester which is fancier to go trick-or-treating. Most of the trick-or-treaters around here would be kids whose parents drove them in from Inglewood. What were the odds that that bowl wouldn't be emptied by some teenager 10 minutes after we left? Was that bowl and its accompanying sign a giant billboard advertising that we weren't home and would-be thieves were free to steal our Craigslist futon and my Glee-filled ipod? Mostly I left that bowl of candy out because I didn't want to be a house that didn't give out candy on Halloween. But I think I also left that bowl of candy as a bit of a test of humanity. I would rather be someone who was foolish and had faith in people but was burned in the end than a person who turned off their porch lights in fear.
Well here it comes, the sentence that will inspire shock and awe. Were we robbed? Had our house been toiletpapered and our jack-o-lanterns smashed? Had our candy bowl been ravaged by a greedy teenager?
When we got back to our house about 20 candies remained.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
My name is Melissa, and I am a homemaker
I had to fill out a form the other day and it asked what my occupation was. I automatically wrote that I am a Speech Therapist because that's what I've defined myself as for the past 7 years. When I thought about it thought I realized that I am not in fact a practicing Speech Therapist. The state of California doesn't recognize me as such at all. They have a series of hoops that I must jump through including a course by course comparison for my Master's degree to a U.S. degree (which, I might add, costs $200) in order for me to practice as an SLP. So when I thought about it I realized that what I really am is a stay-at-home mom.
Until I really thought about this, I hadn't realized that now whenever someone asks what I do for a living I find it necessary to explain why I am not actually working as an SLP (visa issues, licensing issues, etc.). I haven't been able to work but the truth is I'm actually really happy to be staying home with my girls. It wasn't really the plan but I'm embracing it.
This also lead me to the question of what title I should be using. "Stay-at-home mom" isn't bad but there's something sort of passive about it. It seems sort of like a default position like "should I go and do something or should I just stay at home?". I am a Druett (my maiden name for those of you who may not know) by nature and therefore I tend to approach everything as a project. If I'm going to be a mom it's not going to be some passive thing I just do! I'm going to read books! Go to classes! I told my neighbour the other day that I had gone to a parenting class and she said "why?". I didn't know how to respond! Because that's what I do!
Anyway, when I thought about the term "homemaker" my first reaction was "yeuch". It sounds so outdated and anti-feminist. I think of women vacuuming in trim dresses and red lipstick and greeting their husbands at the door with a dry martini. But, when I thought about it, what's so wrong with being a person that makes a home? When you think of the word "home" doesn't it give you warm happy thoughts? I once heard that making a home-cooked meal for your family is an act of love. I truly believe that. Not everyone can cook a meal from scratch every day but there is something really loving about the act of doing so when you can. Now, I will never, ever enjoy cleaning. I hate it with every fibre of my being but it's a necessary evil. It's part of what makes our home safe and clean and enjoyable to be in. It helps that there isn't that much space for me to clean these days (see an earlier post)!
So yes, I am a homemaker and I'm OK with that. I am NOT a housewife. That's where I draw the line. That's just way too barbaric for me. I guess having kids saves me from feeling like too much of a throwback! I remember there was once a woman on my soccer team in Whitecourt who didn't work and didn't have kids. I remember one of the other ladies saying (behind her back of course) "oh my God! She's a kept woman!". It's just one of those things that you don't see every day! You know what though? She was really happy and I assume financially secure. She was writing a book or something so I guess she kept herself busy. So all the power to her! Isn't feminism about being able to do what you want?
So for now, I am a homemaker. I will end with my favourite quote of the moment:
"Educated women in the home? What an odd thing to deplore! What better place to have us 'end up'... What more important job is there than sharing the values we are learning to cherish with the next generation of adults? What more strategic place could there be for the educated woman?" - Edith F. Hunter
Until I really thought about this, I hadn't realized that now whenever someone asks what I do for a living I find it necessary to explain why I am not actually working as an SLP (visa issues, licensing issues, etc.). I haven't been able to work but the truth is I'm actually really happy to be staying home with my girls. It wasn't really the plan but I'm embracing it.
This also lead me to the question of what title I should be using. "Stay-at-home mom" isn't bad but there's something sort of passive about it. It seems sort of like a default position like "should I go and do something or should I just stay at home?". I am a Druett (my maiden name for those of you who may not know) by nature and therefore I tend to approach everything as a project. If I'm going to be a mom it's not going to be some passive thing I just do! I'm going to read books! Go to classes! I told my neighbour the other day that I had gone to a parenting class and she said "why?". I didn't know how to respond! Because that's what I do!
Anyway, when I thought about the term "homemaker" my first reaction was "yeuch". It sounds so outdated and anti-feminist. I think of women vacuuming in trim dresses and red lipstick and greeting their husbands at the door with a dry martini. But, when I thought about it, what's so wrong with being a person that makes a home? When you think of the word "home" doesn't it give you warm happy thoughts? I once heard that making a home-cooked meal for your family is an act of love. I truly believe that. Not everyone can cook a meal from scratch every day but there is something really loving about the act of doing so when you can. Now, I will never, ever enjoy cleaning. I hate it with every fibre of my being but it's a necessary evil. It's part of what makes our home safe and clean and enjoyable to be in. It helps that there isn't that much space for me to clean these days (see an earlier post)!
So yes, I am a homemaker and I'm OK with that. I am NOT a housewife. That's where I draw the line. That's just way too barbaric for me. I guess having kids saves me from feeling like too much of a throwback! I remember there was once a woman on my soccer team in Whitecourt who didn't work and didn't have kids. I remember one of the other ladies saying (behind her back of course) "oh my God! She's a kept woman!". It's just one of those things that you don't see every day! You know what though? She was really happy and I assume financially secure. She was writing a book or something so I guess she kept herself busy. So all the power to her! Isn't feminism about being able to do what you want?
So for now, I am a homemaker. I will end with my favourite quote of the moment:
"Educated women in the home? What an odd thing to deplore! What better place to have us 'end up'... What more important job is there than sharing the values we are learning to cherish with the next generation of adults? What more strategic place could there be for the educated woman?" - Edith F. Hunter
Monday, October 17, 2011
A World of Laughter, A World of Tears
Well it was inevitable. We've been in L.A. for over 4 months now and we finally did it. Yes, we finally visited "happiest place on Earth". David's mom was here for a week and what she wanted to do most was take the girls to Disneyland. Once David got over his severe bitterness over the fact that she didn't take him to Disneyland when he was a kid we decided it would be a fun thing to do.
We kept the whole thing very hush hush from Asha partly because we didn't want to deal with constant questioning about when we were going and partly because we went on a Friday to avoid the weekend rush and I was scared to tell Asha's teacher that she was missing school to go see Mickey Mouse. Have I mentioned Ms. Lucy yet? She's really nice and great with the kids but she scares the bejeezus out of me. She's very particular about attendance and punctuality. On the first day of class she pointed out all the parents that were late which included me (traffic, in L.A.? Who knew?). So I told Ms. Lucy that Asha's grandmother was visiting and we were going "out of town". David thinks this was lying but Disneyland is in Anaheim which is a different city! We had to take 4 different freeways to get there!
Anyway, on Thursday night we told Asha we were going somewhere special the next day but we didn't say where. When she woke up the next day we asked her where she thought we might be going. She said "well I was thinking about it nast light (she pronounces "last night" like that and I have never corrected her because it's so damn cute. Does that make me a bad Speech Pathologist?) and I was thinking maybe we were going to Randy's Donuts". Randy's Donuts is a lesser known L.A. landmark. It's a walk-up donut place with a giant donut that's about 30 feet in diameter on the roof. You can imagine that it's very intriguing to a 4 year old. I think she might think that they sell 30 foot donuts there. Well we told her that we were not going to Randy's Donuts but in fact were going to Disneyland and she was pretty excited all the while questioning about the availability of donuts at Disneyland.
Look at me embedding pictures into my blog!
Well, I was pretty prepared to hate Disneyland. The Disney corporation represents many of the ills that plague modern society in my mind: mass consumerism, marketing that targets children, anti-feminism etc. etc. But the trouble with Disneyland is that, well, it's kind of awesome! The rides are really fun and well maintained. The most popular rides have a "fast pass" system so you can essentially skip the long line-ups. The parade and fireworks were fantastic. There is crap to buy EVERYWHERE but it's surprisingly not shoved in your face. You can even bring in your own food so you don't have to shell out $8.00 for a piece of pizza if you don't want to.
We did most of the typical Disneyland stuff. We went on the "It's a small world" ride. David had never heard of the ride or the song. Sometimes I think he lives in a bubble. He once asked me who Bono is. I mean, really?? Anyway, I described the ride as what I imagined an acid trip would be like if one were to drop acid. Since I was expecting it to be demented I found it quite enjoyable. David was somewhat disturbed by it. Nia, on the other hand, thought it was just about the best thing ever.
Asha met not only Mickey Mouse but also Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. She told me that they weren't the actually princesses but just ladies dressed up as them. I'm not sure if she thought Mickey was an actual mouse. I don't want to ask in case she thinks he's real and I burst her bubble. David and I went on the Indiana Jones ride. He had a little talk with me the night before about how Disneyland was going to be fun and I shouldn't spoil it by being no fun (i.e., bailing on all the rides). I responded by saying that the only thing less fun than a mom who doesn't go on rides is a mom who spends the day at Disneyland barfing. We decided that Indiana Jones was a happy medium between Space Mountain and the teacups. The Indiana Jones ride was, well, awesome! We rode around in a jeep and were chased by rolling boulders and creepy crawlies. We went right through a ghost and felt bullets whiz past our faces.
So all in all it was a great day. Is Disneyland the happiest place on Earth? Well judging by the number of kids have complete and utter meltdowns at any given moment I'm going to say no. Was it worth going to? Definitely. At the end of the day we asked Asha if she thought Disneyland was better than Randy's Donuts and she said that she hasn't been to Randy's Donuts yet so she wasn't sure. We'll get there someday and I'll let you know what the verdict is.
P.S. On a completely different note... I feel like this blog is very Asha-centric and I am always commenting on her genius and ignoring Nia's. This is purely because of their respective ages I am sure. Well I have decided that Nia is also a genius because today she learned to blow her nose. Now if you're not very familiar with kids this may not sound impressive but I have met many a 5 year old who can't do this! She's 13 months old! She may not walk yet but she is a nasal genius.
We kept the whole thing very hush hush from Asha partly because we didn't want to deal with constant questioning about when we were going and partly because we went on a Friday to avoid the weekend rush and I was scared to tell Asha's teacher that she was missing school to go see Mickey Mouse. Have I mentioned Ms. Lucy yet? She's really nice and great with the kids but she scares the bejeezus out of me. She's very particular about attendance and punctuality. On the first day of class she pointed out all the parents that were late which included me (traffic, in L.A.? Who knew?). So I told Ms. Lucy that Asha's grandmother was visiting and we were going "out of town". David thinks this was lying but Disneyland is in Anaheim which is a different city! We had to take 4 different freeways to get there!
Anyway, on Thursday night we told Asha we were going somewhere special the next day but we didn't say where. When she woke up the next day we asked her where she thought we might be going. She said "well I was thinking about it nast light (she pronounces "last night" like that and I have never corrected her because it's so damn cute. Does that make me a bad Speech Pathologist?) and I was thinking maybe we were going to Randy's Donuts". Randy's Donuts is a lesser known L.A. landmark. It's a walk-up donut place with a giant donut that's about 30 feet in diameter on the roof. You can imagine that it's very intriguing to a 4 year old. I think she might think that they sell 30 foot donuts there. Well we told her that we were not going to Randy's Donuts but in fact were going to Disneyland and she was pretty excited all the while questioning about the availability of donuts at Disneyland.
Look at me embedding pictures into my blog! Well, I was pretty prepared to hate Disneyland. The Disney corporation represents many of the ills that plague modern society in my mind: mass consumerism, marketing that targets children, anti-feminism etc. etc. But the trouble with Disneyland is that, well, it's kind of awesome! The rides are really fun and well maintained. The most popular rides have a "fast pass" system so you can essentially skip the long line-ups. The parade and fireworks were fantastic. There is crap to buy EVERYWHERE but it's surprisingly not shoved in your face. You can even bring in your own food so you don't have to shell out $8.00 for a piece of pizza if you don't want to.
We did most of the typical Disneyland stuff. We went on the "It's a small world" ride. David had never heard of the ride or the song. Sometimes I think he lives in a bubble. He once asked me who Bono is. I mean, really?? Anyway, I described the ride as what I imagined an acid trip would be like if one were to drop acid. Since I was expecting it to be demented I found it quite enjoyable. David was somewhat disturbed by it. Nia, on the other hand, thought it was just about the best thing ever.
Asha met not only Mickey Mouse but also Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. She told me that they weren't the actually princesses but just ladies dressed up as them. I'm not sure if she thought Mickey was an actual mouse. I don't want to ask in case she thinks he's real and I burst her bubble. David and I went on the Indiana Jones ride. He had a little talk with me the night before about how Disneyland was going to be fun and I shouldn't spoil it by being no fun (i.e., bailing on all the rides). I responded by saying that the only thing less fun than a mom who doesn't go on rides is a mom who spends the day at Disneyland barfing. We decided that Indiana Jones was a happy medium between Space Mountain and the teacups. The Indiana Jones ride was, well, awesome! We rode around in a jeep and were chased by rolling boulders and creepy crawlies. We went right through a ghost and felt bullets whiz past our faces.
So all in all it was a great day. Is Disneyland the happiest place on Earth? Well judging by the number of kids have complete and utter meltdowns at any given moment I'm going to say no. Was it worth going to? Definitely. At the end of the day we asked Asha if she thought Disneyland was better than Randy's Donuts and she said that she hasn't been to Randy's Donuts yet so she wasn't sure. We'll get there someday and I'll let you know what the verdict is.
P.S. On a completely different note... I feel like this blog is very Asha-centric and I am always commenting on her genius and ignoring Nia's. This is purely because of their respective ages I am sure. Well I have decided that Nia is also a genius because today she learned to blow her nose. Now if you're not very familiar with kids this may not sound impressive but I have met many a 5 year old who can't do this! She's 13 months old! She may not walk yet but she is a nasal genius.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Home again, home again, jiggity jig
So I don't intend on going back to Canada for a visit every month that I'm here but it seems to be working out that way. My sister, who lives in England was in Canada for a visit and my parents very graciously flew me and the girls up so the whole family could be together. I haven't seen my sister, her husband, and my nephew for 2 years and I have never before met my niece who is 9 months old. David stayed home because he had classes and an exam.
Well needless to say, my new little niece is ridiculously adorable. My nephew is delightful and not only because he has the cutest little accent ever. He had a fascinating conversation with Asha about the fact that in England they call underwear "pants" and pants "trousers". Asha has told pretty much every person in L.A. that since we've been back. I found myself feeling like a complete hick because my accent sounded so coarse compared to his. Apparently he said to my sister when they had a moment alone "Mum, Auntie Melissa always calls me 'dude'. What does that mean?". Overall, it was lovely to spend some time with my sisters and amazing to see all 7 of the new generation together.
So in the spirit of Thanksgiving I want to say what I was thankful for this weekend. Firstly I am thankful for my husband who was so jealous that I "got to" go on a plane with Asha and Nia. I personally was jealous that he got to sleep in lay on the beach without stopping Asha from getting washed away and Nia from eating rotting seaweed. David has a bit of a romantic notion about flying with children because he hasn't actually done it in a while. But, he reminded me that there are fun moments when flying with children when I'm not helping Asha in the tiny bathroom while holding a sleeping baby.
Next I am thankful for my sisters. I can honestly say that despite the fact that we have children that are all very close in age we just truly adore them all. There is legitimately no envy, one-upmanship, or competition between us. It helps that all of them happen to be gorgeous as well as brilliant (but I may be a tad biased).
I am also thankful for my wonderful in-laws. I knew that I have a great relationship with them but it really hit home when I was talking to David on the phone and he asked if it was wierd being there without him or Jeanette. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that it would be wierd at all. I think that's pretty rare.
Finally, I am thankful for my parents who made the whole thing happen. Not only did they get us all together for the first time in 2 years but they let us overrun their home. And when I say overrun I am not exaggerating! That place was a madhouse complete with two babies, an adorable yet slightly evil 2 year old, 2 very energetic boys, a 4 year old girl who loudly sings approximately 75% of the time, and a love-sick teenager.
Well this list is obviously not exhaustive and I am also thankful for the rest of my family and friends. I am definitely a very lucky girl. On a side note, Thanksgiving marked the 1 year anniversary of my becoming a vegetarian, or to be precise, a pescatarian because I still eat fish. I officially reduced my carbon footprint by 1 tonne for the last year. Unfortunately that's about equivalent to the carbon burned by my plane trip home but let's focus on the positives, shall we?
Well needless to say, my new little niece is ridiculously adorable. My nephew is delightful and not only because he has the cutest little accent ever. He had a fascinating conversation with Asha about the fact that in England they call underwear "pants" and pants "trousers". Asha has told pretty much every person in L.A. that since we've been back. I found myself feeling like a complete hick because my accent sounded so coarse compared to his. Apparently he said to my sister when they had a moment alone "Mum, Auntie Melissa always calls me 'dude'. What does that mean?". Overall, it was lovely to spend some time with my sisters and amazing to see all 7 of the new generation together.
So in the spirit of Thanksgiving I want to say what I was thankful for this weekend. Firstly I am thankful for my husband who was so jealous that I "got to" go on a plane with Asha and Nia. I personally was jealous that he got to sleep in lay on the beach without stopping Asha from getting washed away and Nia from eating rotting seaweed. David has a bit of a romantic notion about flying with children because he hasn't actually done it in a while. But, he reminded me that there are fun moments when flying with children when I'm not helping Asha in the tiny bathroom while holding a sleeping baby.
Next I am thankful for my sisters. I can honestly say that despite the fact that we have children that are all very close in age we just truly adore them all. There is legitimately no envy, one-upmanship, or competition between us. It helps that all of them happen to be gorgeous as well as brilliant (but I may be a tad biased).
I am also thankful for my wonderful in-laws. I knew that I have a great relationship with them but it really hit home when I was talking to David on the phone and he asked if it was wierd being there without him or Jeanette. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that it would be wierd at all. I think that's pretty rare.
Finally, I am thankful for my parents who made the whole thing happen. Not only did they get us all together for the first time in 2 years but they let us overrun their home. And when I say overrun I am not exaggerating! That place was a madhouse complete with two babies, an adorable yet slightly evil 2 year old, 2 very energetic boys, a 4 year old girl who loudly sings approximately 75% of the time, and a love-sick teenager.
Well this list is obviously not exhaustive and I am also thankful for the rest of my family and friends. I am definitely a very lucky girl. On a side note, Thanksgiving marked the 1 year anniversary of my becoming a vegetarian, or to be precise, a pescatarian because I still eat fish. I officially reduced my carbon footprint by 1 tonne for the last year. Unfortunately that's about equivalent to the carbon burned by my plane trip home but let's focus on the positives, shall we?
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