My name is Melissa, and I am a homemaker

I had to fill out a form the other day and it asked what my occupation was. I automatically wrote that I am a Speech Therapist because that's what I've defined myself as for the past 7 years. When I thought about it thought I realized that I am not in fact a practicing Speech Therapist. The state of California doesn't recognize me as such at all. They have a series of hoops that I must jump through including a course by course comparison for my Master's degree to a U.S. degree (which, I might add, costs $200) in order for me to practice as an SLP. So when I thought about it I realized that what I really am is a stay-at-home mom.

Until I really thought about this, I hadn't realized that now whenever someone asks what I do for a living I find it necessary to explain why I am not actually working as an SLP (visa issues, licensing issues, etc.). I haven't been able to work but the truth is I'm actually really happy to be staying home with my girls. It wasn't really the plan but I'm embracing it.

This also lead me to the question of what title I should be using. "Stay-at-home mom" isn't bad but there's something sort of passive about it. It seems sort of like a default position like "should I go and do something or should I just stay at home?". I am a Druett (my maiden name for those of you who may not know) by nature and therefore I tend to approach everything as a project. If I'm going to be a mom it's not going to be some passive thing I just do! I'm going to read books! Go to classes! I told my neighbour the other day that I had gone to a parenting class and she said "why?". I didn't know how to respond! Because that's what I do!

Anyway, when I thought about the term "homemaker" my first reaction was "yeuch". It sounds so outdated and anti-feminist. I think of women vacuuming in trim dresses and red lipstick and greeting their husbands at the door with a dry martini. But, when I thought about it, what's so wrong with being a person that makes a home? When you think of the word "home" doesn't it give you warm happy thoughts? I once heard that making a home-cooked meal for your family is an act of love. I truly believe that. Not everyone can cook a meal from scratch every day but there is something really loving about the act of doing so when you can. Now, I will never, ever enjoy cleaning. I hate it with every fibre of my being but it's a necessary evil. It's part of what makes our home safe and clean and enjoyable to be in. It helps that there isn't that much space for me to clean these days (see an earlier post)!

So yes, I am a homemaker and I'm OK with that. I am NOT a housewife. That's where I draw the line. That's just way too barbaric for me. I guess having kids saves me from feeling like too much of a throwback! I remember there was once a woman on my soccer team in Whitecourt who didn't work and didn't have kids. I remember one of the other ladies saying (behind her back of course) "oh my God! She's a kept woman!". It's just one of those things that you don't see every day! You know what though? She was really happy and I assume financially secure. She was writing a book or something so I guess she kept herself busy. So all the power to her! Isn't feminism about being able to do what you want?

So for now, I am a homemaker. I will end with my favourite quote of the moment:

"Educated women in the home? What an odd thing to deplore! What better place to have us 'end up'... What more important job is there than sharing the values we are learning to cherish with the next generation of adults? What more strategic place could there be for the educated woman?"  - Edith F. Hunter