See You On the Flip Side!

So my time here is up and we're heading home. Thanks to all of you for your interest in my blog and your comments. I've realized that I really enjoy writing and I think I would like to pursue it further in some capacity.

My blogging days are over for now. If any of you are just dying to fill the blog-sized hole that will be left behind, you should check out my friend Kirstie's blog at http://kirstie-seizetheday.blogspot.ca/.  If you think my blog was at any time a little bit funny you'll think that Kirstie's is HILARIOUS. Her blog is also based on a really great project that she's doing and it's got a lot of heart behind it. But most of all it's super funny.

So thanks for sharing a little bit of your time with me and I'll see you all soon!

Love,
Melissa.

The Top 10... 12... 16 Things I've Done While Living in L.A.

Well it's 3 days and counting until we return to the Great White North. Thank goodness it won't actually be white because I don't think I could handle it. I need to be eased into winter gradually. Luckily that happens with a little something called autumn.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little bit weird as we pack up and I see people for the last time. Mostly I'm excited to go home though. I'll miss the weather but I feel as though I've done most of the things that I wanted to do here. Here's a list of what some of those things were (in no particular order):

1. Went to a watermelon farm
It actually had way more than just watermelons but we got to take home our own little watermelon at the end of the tour

                                           Here we are having a picnic, Alberta-style in the
                                           back of Ol' Blue (may he rest in peace)

2. Participated in a flash mob
This was such a great experience and everyone should do it at some point in their lives! It was part of a wedding proposal on the Santa Monica Pier. It was one of those things that I didn't know if I would have the guts to do it but it was super fun.

I don't know if this link will work for you but you can try to watch the video:
http://youtu.be/6JVIXk1X3XM


3. Auditioned for and sang with 2 new choirs
I've sung with the same choir for 16 years and I didn't ever really audition for it so it was another thing I didn't think I would have the guts to do. The two choirs I sang with were wildly different but both great experiences. This leads me to the next item on the list...


4. Sang the Mahler 8 with the L.A. Philharmonic and Gustavo Dudamel
So I didn't know who Dudamel was before either but he's pretty much the most famous conductor in the world. He's a musical genius and all around phenomenal person. I had to do a separate audition in order to participate but it was totally worth it. I got to sing with 600 other singers and 400 musicians. The music was reverberating through my whole body.


5. Did a beach bootcamp class
The class itself was nothing special but it was so cool exercising on the sand. When I didn't have one or both of my kids with me (which was most of the time. Thanks, David!) I would also go down by the water and stretch and meditate for a few minutes. Sweet!


6. Watched the Disneyland fireworks with Asha and my nephew Tyler
These were the best fireworks I've ever seen and the kids' reactions to them were so wonderful. Asha said, and I quote, "it's like there's no tomorrow!!".


7. Moved into a much smaller house 
I realized that a smaller house is cozier, easier to keep clean, and a much more efficient use of space and money. I also put my girls in a bedroom together which I never would have done if I hadn't been forced to. Even if we live in a 3 bedroom house in the future I will still have them in a room together.


8. Saw the sequoias
Have I mentioned the sequoias yet? Ha ha! Should I post some more pictures to illustrate just how big and beautiful they are?


9. Went to the Coachella Music Festival
It was the music festival to beat all music festivals. The lineup was AMAZING and the quality of the concerts was better than any I've ever been to. It was ridiculously hot out in the desert but completely worth it. I mean, I got to see the hologram of Tupac Shakur. Are you kidding me?!!

                                           I like to call this picture "label the body part".
                                           The people in front of us decided to hoist eachother
                                           up right before I took this picture. I have no idea
                                           what body parts these are. But anyway, see Tupac
                                           in between the mystery body parts?

10. Tried having only one vehicle for our family
Note the word "tried". It was not very successful. I would like to blame this on the embarrassingly horrible public transit system in Los Angeles. That was a factor but I didn't really try that hard. I just couldn't get myself to haul two kids to the bus stop then wait for the bus and then sit on the bus listening to teenagers swear in front of my kids. Maybe I'll try again when I live somewhere where there is a subway system that is actually adequate. Or maybe I won't...

11. Subscribed to a CSA box
CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture. When you subscribe to a CSA you get a bundle of produce from local farms every week (or every second week in our case). It's a great way to get super fresh produce, support local farms, and try new things. I hadn't heard of many of the fruits and veggies that we got (pomelos? joi choi?) and there were lots that I knew of but hadn't really tried (mustard greens, blood oranges, artichokes).

                                           Each time we picked up our bundle we would
                                           ceremoniously take it out, lay it on the table and
                                           take a picture if it was particularly colourful

The have CSA's in Canada too but I'm pretty sure it's not the same as in California!


12. Oilers game in a different city
I already wrote a whole post about this but it had to go on my list

13. Kids' yoga class
Asha joined a kids' yoga class which was fantastic. Her teacher is phenomenal and the class was really fun. At the end of each class they have a minute of quiet meditation. At first Asha would spend the whole time telling on kids whose eyes were open (obviously missing the irony that in order to see them she must have her eyes open). Well now she can actually sit quietly for 1 whole minute! This is amazing since she literally is only silent when she is sleeping, and even then she often talks in her sleep.

14. Saw wild dolphins in the ocean
This wasn't one of those resort, quasi-natural swim with the dolphins situations. We were just down at the beach and we saw dolphins playing out in the waves. It was so cool! We've seen seals a few times too. When I was waiting to do the aforementioned flash mob on the Santa Monica Pier it was SO cold. It was super windy and rainy and the only time in California that I've been genuinely freezing cold. Then I looked over the edge of the pier at the huge waves and saw 3 seals having a blast playing in the waves. It made me stop feeling sorry for myself!

15. Hosted visitors
We had so many visitors it was difficult to schedule them in sometimes! We also had a few repeaters. My mom wins the prize for a total of 3 visits! One of my favourite things to do was greet arriving visitors. The people arriving from Canada always come down a specific escalator in LAX so I would stand at the bottom of it to wait for them. It was so fun because most people on a flight between Edmonton and L.A. don't have people meeting them!

16. Got the opportunity to really choose where we wanted to live
Most of the time the place where we live is determined by external factors (where we're born, where we go to school or get a job). That has been the case for me for my whole life so far. We had some choice in where we went for David to go to school but there were only so many Real Estate Development programs and the one in USC is one of the best. Well now that David's program is done we could pretty much go anywhere we wanted. We could stay in L.A., move to another U.S. city, or move anywhere else in the world for that matter! Well we're as shocked as anyone to discover that where we want to be is Edmonton. That is ultimately the place we call home.

Walking Amongst Giants (and Junk)

Oh my goodness, it's almost been a month since I last wrote a blog post. I'm officially not a very good blogger. Well if there's anyone out there left reading this, I apologize! I sort of wait until a post forms itself in my mind and then write it and that just hasn't happened lately. That is, until last week.

So, when you think of California, what comes to mind? Seriously, I'm curious what sorts of words pop into your heads. Maybe warm weather and beaches? Celebrities and beautiful, shallow people? Horrendous traffic? Well how about breath-taking scenery and natural phenomena? Did you know that California is the home of the following: the oldest living tree, the tallest tree species, and the biggest tree in the world?

Well I saw the General Sherman, the biggest tree in the world last week. We went on a road trip to Sequoia National Park. Words seriously can not describe how amazing the sequoias are. David keeps making fun of me because I'm obsessed with these trees. It's not just that they're so big but that they're really, truly beautiful.

                                          I mean, are you kidding me?! They look like two
                                          giant dinosaur feet! P.S. I finally figured out how
                                          to insert pictures! Yay!

The main reason that the sequoias are so big is that they are pretty much immune to the things that kill other types of trees. Guess what the top killer of sequoia trees is? Bugs? Nope. Fungus? Uh uh. Forest fires? We saw a cross section of a tree with 80 fire scars! Nope, the number one killer, and really the only thing that kills these trees is... toppling over. They get so friggin' big that they can't hold themselves up anymore. And one of the things that makes them so beautiful is also what protects them. They have excessive amounts of tannin in their bark which gives them their beautiful red colour but also makes them unpalatable to insects and fungus.

General Sherman, the biggest sequoia of them all is not actually the tallest or the widest but it has the most volume because it tapers very little toward the top. It's volume increases by the equivalent of another very large tree every year. As we walked toward the grove of sequoias and they came into sight my mouth was literally hanging open. I was like a cartoon character who sees a beautiful girl with my eyes bugging out and my tongue lolling. I felt like I was suddenly thrust into world 4 of Super Mario 3, minus the giant fish trying to eat me, of course.

     Sorry that this picture is so annoyingly big but I'm trying to give you a sense of the scale here.
     Can you see the people standing in front of the tree in the middle?

There was one tree that had fallen down and was completely hollowed out so you could walk down the length of it. This tree had been used as a shelter, a saloon, and a horse corral. The trees were once logged but now they're protected. We saw one stump of a tree that took 13 days to cut down.

These trees are also incredibly old. General Sherman is about 3,000 years old. So it was a pretty old tree already when the bible was being written.

So anyway, I'll stop obsessing about the sequoias now. All I will say is that every single person should see these trees at some point in his or her life. The shocking thing is that not a single person that I have talked to in L.A. about our trip has seen the sequoias. The world's biggest tree is less than 4 hours away and they haven't even seen it?!!

Another cool thing we did on our trip is a cave tour. We were there during the off-peak season so we got our own private tour (which was good because she was able to answer ALL of Asha's many questions). The cave is in a mountain made of solid marble. The formations inside are formed by water making its way through the mountain and leaving behind calcite deposits. The formations were truly breath-taking. Asha liked them because they were all named after food (stack of pancakes, popcorn, lasagne noodles). Nia was completely mesmerized and kept pointing all over. I wonder if later in life she'll have crazy dreams about wierd, wavy rocks and gigantic trees!

As we were walking through the cave a drop of water landed on my head, what is called a "cave kiss". The tour guide told us that it takes between 500 and 800 years for the water to make its way through the mountain into the cave. So the water that fell on my head had rained at least 500 years before!! Isn't that amazing!?

 

Well now I'm just going crazy with the pictures!

The cave formations are hard to capture on film

but here you go!

At the end of our trip we decided to head out west so we could drive back down the coast. Most people visit the Cambria area to see Hearst Castle. It has been dubbed "America's castle" and was build by William Randolph Hearst, the publishing bagillionaire. It's supposedly very extravagant and opulent. A couple of people told David we shouldn't miss it. Well, it's not really our style so we skipped it.

We did, however, go to a place called Nit Wit Ridge. It's a house that was built by a guy named Art Beal. He bought the land for $500 and built the entire house out of repurposed items (also known as junk). He did all the stonework, plumbing, and wiring himself. He was the town garbage man and rumour has it he didn't actually take anything to the dump but kept ALL of it. He has picture frames made out of toilet seats. The handrails are functioning pipes that water runs through. 

                                                                       Nit Wit Ridge

The guy was a total nutcase but it was pretty amazing how industrious he was and how he found beauty in unusual items. He has integrated into the stonework hundreds of abalone shells that he got from the plant where they removed the meat and threw out the shells.

The residents of the town are divided between folks who think the house is a heritage site that should be preserved and people who think it's an eyesore that should be torn down. Our family was also divided. I thought it was fascinating and a testament to what can be done with stuff people throw away, some ingenuity, and a whole lotta time. David found the entire tour uncomfortable and couldn't get past the glaring building code violations. I suppose it's like if there was a person who didn't know how to fix speech and language problems but they got a bunch of kids and tried to give them speech therapy. Then someone put on tours so people could look at all the screwed up little kids!

So, that's our little road trip in a nutshell. We successfully logged many hours in a car, minus a DVD player I might add! After 4 days we were more than ready to go home. Once again, the term "home" was confusing because we alternately called our hotel room, Los Angeles, and Edmonton "home". I have a new obsession with sequoia trees and renewed sense of awe for nature. 

Now for the super fun job of packing up our house!

Apple Pie For Breakfast

No, this is not an homage to my father-in-law who actually eats apple pie for breakfast. I don't really have anything interesting to write so I thought I would send out a recipe that I invented. I am not a person who typically invents a recipe. I am a person who follows recipes exactly and never sways from doing exactly what it tells you to do. My mom is a person who, when you ask how she made the fabulous dinner you just ate replies "I don't know. I just threw it together". She makes these fabulous portabello mushrooms. She says she just sautees them in olive oil and garlic. It sounds easy enough but when I make them they end up looking (and tasting) like a dog's dinner. Is that genetic do you suppose? This ability to throw things together and make a fabulous meal? Will I ever possess that ability?

Well I've gotten a tiny step closer with this recipe. It's nothing groundbreaking but it tastes damn good. I actually did just throw it together without measuring so the measurements are approximate. You might need to adjust accordingly.

Here it is:

Apple Pie for Breakfast
1/2 cup of quick oats
1 tsp. ground flax seed (optional but highly recommended because it's so good for you!)
3/4 cup almond milk
1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
2 dashes cinnamon
handful chopped walnuts or pecans

Put the oats, flax seed, and almond milk in a bowl and microwave for 45 seconds. Stir and microwave for another 45 seconds. Stir in applesauce and cinnamon and sprinkle nuts on top.

You could probably make it with regular milk but I think it tastes better with the almond milk. Almond milk also has as much or more of the good stuff (calcium, iron) and as much or less of the bad stuff (fat, sugar, animal cruelty) than regular milk. You can also cook it on the stovetop if you want but it's way quicker in the microwave.

So there you go! It seriously tastes like apple pie with no added sugar (just what's in the almond milk and naturally occurs in the applesauce) and it has lots or iron, vitamin C, and protein to start your day!

Here's another recipe courtesy of Asha. It's called Puddling Poo. Now I thought it sounded like what would result if you ate too many Christmas oranges but apparently it's delicious. I'm told it looks like poo but tastes like chocolate. I've tasted it and I beg to differ...

Puddling Poo
Sand
Sea water
Seashells (optional)

Fill a bucket 3/4 full with dry sand. Get a very small container and ask your mom to go scoop some sea water out of the ocean for you repeatedly. Continue until she says she's had enough of going back and forth and the mixture has a mud-like consistency. Season with seashells to taste. This is particularly delicious if you take it home and let it sit for several days (if you can convince your mom to let you take it home. Mine wouldn't let me.)

Hmm... Maybe the ability to throw ingredients together skips a generation??

The Best Game You Can Name

Our time in California is ticking down so we have made a list of things we definitely want to do while we're here.The list ranges from likely (go to the Zimmer Children's Museum) to not-so-likely (go on the Price is Right). At the top of this list was to go to a Kings vs. Oilers game. There are only a few home games versus the Oilers each season so we had to wait until the end of the season to go. Never ones to actually pay full price for anything, we scoured Craigslist ads for people selling off tickets from their season ticket packs. None of the seats were great so we decided to chance it and find a scalper at the game. (On a side note, isn't the word 'scalp' disgusting? Not only is it just yucky sounding it has such horrible connotations. How did the the resale of tickets to sporting events become synonymous with the removal of one's enemy's scalp?)
Well in good ol' Edmonton you can count on several people hanging around under the statue of Wayne Gretzky trying to sell you tickets. I assume it's either legal or the authorities look the other way. In Los Angeles it seems to be a much shadier business. A guy around the corner from the gates asked if we wanted tickets but as David perused the merchendise some cops approached and our 'dealer' told David to put the tickets in his pocket. We then casually walked up the block with the guy several steps ahead of us. After a little negotiation (on David's part of course. I am really horrible at bartering) we landed 2 tickets, 10 rows behind the Oilers' bench. Not bad.

It turns out that actually selling the tickets isn't illegal but you can't do it outside the arena without a permit. Still though, don't you think that the LAPD has better things to do than patrol the Staples Center for scalpers? This is a city where people get murdered daily. The whole undertaking was actually pretty thrilling, as was getting past the gate without being told the tickets were bogus.

When we found our seats it turned out that the guy next to us had been given 4 tickets and sold 2 of them to a guy in the parking lot who then sold them to us for $25 more per ticket than he had paid. It really worked out well for everyone because the guy beside us made a little money, the entrepreneur in the parking lot made some too, and we got great seats for way less than the box office price. Unfortunately I think some of that money went up the guy beside us's nose. He was awfully sniffly and really hyper. Oh well.

There were a remarkable number of Oilers fans in the crowd. I suppose some people were expats like us but lots of people probably traveled there for the game. I guess if you want to travel to an away Oilers games, L.A. is a good place to go. It beats Pittsburg! A guy in front of us took one look at my Oilers jersey and asked, "do you live in Edmonton?" and when I said 'no' he said "why do you cheer for them then?".

Lots of things were the same as hockey games at home. Beer, popcorn, annoying people constantly shouting "shoot it!". There were some differences though. One of which was people that came out and shoveled the ice during commercial breaks. It was different because they shoveled the blue and red lines as well as the area around the nets. It was also different because these people were scantily clad women. During the first period, they were wearing low cut shirts and pants. During the second period they seemed to have lost the bottom halves of their shirts. We waited with baited breath to see if they would be pantless in the third but alas they were not.

Another similarity was the chants.  You know, when the organ plays and people hollar "DE - FENCE!" and "let's go Kings, let's go!". A difference was that there was also a chant involving a little ditty played by the organ and the fans yelling "Oilers suck!". This was shocking to my Canadian sensibilities. I couldn't help thinking that in Canada we're not mean hockey fans.

We wondered what the crowd would be like and if these Angelenos would know anything about hockey. We were pleasantly surprised to see that the arena was fairly full and the crowd were pretty hard core. I guess if you're a hockey fan in a baseball/basketball town you must really love hockey. In other words, it doesn't take much to be an Oilers fan in Edmonton but if you choose the Kings over the Lakers, Clippers, and... what are the baseball teams called? .... you must really be hard core.

So did we win? Of course not! Don't you know that the Oilers suck?! I like to say that we lost the game but we won the fight. The highlight of the game was the fight in the first period where our guy worked the other guy. What is it about hockey fights that I love so much? I really am a pacifist at heart. When I was a kid I used to let mosquitos bite me because I found out they only live for 2 weeks and I felt bad for them. When I was 5 years old my mom asked me to choose between an ugly plaid dress and a cool one with stripes and a mock turtle neck. I chose the cool one but felt horrible for the ugly one. As an adult I don't eat meat and close my eyes whenever there's violence in movies. But a hockey fight? I go crazy! I find myself saying things like, "come on! Throw off your gloves, you sissy!" and cheering like a crazy person when someone lands a punch. I guess it's because it's mutually agreed upon by both players and usually increases the energy of the whole game. So although we didn't win and most of the Oilers (excepting the goalie) seemed to be counting down the minutes until golf season, even Sniffy beside me had to admit his guy got worked.

So I would highly recommend going to an away game of the sporting team that you love. It's kind of thrilling being the underdog and cheering when no one else is. It must be so fun for all those Leafs and Flames fans in Edmonton! We just might have to schedule any future North American travel around the Oilers' travel schedule.

As a side note, Asha's current favourite song is "The Good Ol' Hockey Game". She sings it all the time and tells people that hockey is the best game you can name. I have her convinced that when we fly back to Canada they are going to ask us at the border what the best game you can name is and if we don't say 'hockey' they won't let us in. She has also told David that when we go back to Canada he should be a house builder and a hockey player. Do you think it's to late for him to make the big leagues??

Oh, and one more thing. I'm going to use this blog as a way of recording something for posterity. David seems to think that he has a knack for predicting the Oilers' future. He insists that he predicted that Ryan Smyth would come back. By the way, it was nice to see Smitty back! Although does he always play wing now and therefore can't take his position in his "office" (i.e., the crease)? So anyway, David's new prediction is that the Oilers will just barely miss a playoff spot next year, make it to the playoffs the year after, and then they'll be on fire. I guess he believes all this "it's OK that we suck because it means we'll get great draft picks" business. Well, we'll see!

Smog Sunsets

I'm now in a peculiar position because I'm sort of in between places. I know I'm moving away but not for 2 months. I don't want to squander my time here thinking about the future but I also don't want to forge new connections here if I'm leaving anyway. I'm in the Waiting Place, as Dr. Seuss would say.

Of course now that I'm moving I've suddenly become friends with some of the parents at Asha's school. That seemingly unpenetrable group of friends. It turns out that two of the kids who have a long-standing twice-weekly playdate only have it because one of the moms works and pays the other mom to babysit. Well we now have a weekly yoga class date with Maya and her mom and most weeks we go to the farmer's market with some other kids and their parents. We're going to the zoo tomorrow with another family. I guess it's like those women who desperately want to get married and as soon as they stop trying they find him immediately. I still haven't found my L.A. best girlfriend but a bunch of playdates will do.

The fact that our time here is winding down has made me think about what I've learned from my time here. I had a lot of pre-conceived ideas about Los Angeles before I came here and most of them were unfounded. When David first threw out the idea of moving here my immediate response was "absolutely not". I thought that this city represented all that was wrong with the world: disparity of wealth, obsession with fame and beauty, pollution, crime. Don't get me wrong, those things all exist here but there's more to this city than that. Here are a few things that I've learned about this crazy place:

Not all of L.A. is Beverly Hills
I was literally prepared to be the ugliest person in the entire state. When you picture California you imagine beautiful, blond women who have paid ridiculous amounts of money on plastic surgery. I also thought that everyone would drive fancy cars and wear fancy clothes and I wouldn't fit in at all. Well it turns out there are parts of the city where that is the case but in my little 'hood and most of the neighbourhoods people are just normal. I also imagined everyone here would be snobs and look down their noses at our hillbilly truck and reserve dog but this hasn't been true at all. I guess the people that are too cool for us stay away!

Not all of L.A. is Hollywood
As I mentioned above, not everyone here is a movie star. However, although not everyone in this city is a wannabe starlet, it has actually surprised me how big a part of the local economy the film industry is. I have met the following: a movie producer, a costume designer, a talent agent, a rapper, and several movie extras. I been inconvenienced several time by movies being filmed on location. I even met an actual, real-life actor! Remember that movie "10 Things I Hate About You"? I met the woman who played Julia Stiles' best friend. And I was very close to meeting Blossom. Remember Blossom?! She's the co-leader of a holistic mom's group. Unfortunately she was absent at the meeting I went to. Rats! David said she would definitely fulfill my need to see a celebrity while I'm living here.

Not all of L.A. is South Central
I suppose I assumed that if an area of L.A. wasn't fancy schmancy Beverly Hills then it would be sketchy and crime-ridden. Although the area that we live is Inglewood-adjacent it seems to be really safe. I probably shouldn't say that out loud. Now I'm going to get mugged for sure. I often walk Stobie at night by myself without batting an eye. I suppose any would-be muggers would be scared of my tough, res dog! Little do they know he recently got his ass kicked by a cat and he's scared of water to the point that he walks on the road to avoid people's sprinklers.

The Mexicans are the hardest-damn-working people in this place
I know there is more to the immigration situation down here than I understand but I'm pretty sure that if they fixed the "immigrant problem" the city would fall apart. The Mexicans are the people who do all the jobs that people could do themselves but choose to outsource including mowing their lawns, parking their cars, and taking care of their kids. I have never seen a Hispanic homeless person. Every Sunday night people go around with headlamps looking for bottles and cans in people's recycling bins on the curb. I think that's downright resourceful! Our neighbours across the street are from Mexico and I am not exaggerating when I say that they are the hardest working people I have ever met. Both of them work their butts off so their kids can go to a fantastic private school in Brentwood. And did I mention that they have the 3 nicest girls in the world?

It isn't that smoggy (most of the time)
We live on the west side of L.A. so most of the smog gets blown away from us and into the valley. I've heard the air quality can be so bad in the eastern part of the city that asthmatics can't live there but on our side of town it's not too bad. It does get noticably worse as the week goes on. There was one day when the wind had shifted so there was a haze of yellowish-greyish smog over the ocean. It was fairly disgusting. Someone told me that it's not too bad though because smog in the west makes for beautiful sunsets. How's that for a silver lining (or a yellowish-greyish one).

People in L.A. are actually pretty friendly (most of the time)
Someone told me that Los Angeles had been voted the rudest city in America. That hasn't been my experience with the exception of when I'm in traffic. People become downright evil in traffic.

Airplane travel is very safe
We live about 10 minutes away from LAX airport which can be noisy although we live near the part of the runway where planes land which is much quieter than the area where they take off. It's been very convenient for picking up visitors and it has provided endless entertainment for visitors who like watching planes land. The thing you realize when you watch a plane land every 5 minutes all day long is that airplane travel is really quite safe.

Well I may have tempted fate with this post. I'll probably get mugged and yelled at and then die in a plane crash now. Oh well. I still stand by my observations!

Homeward Bound

Well folks, it's official. We are moving back to Alberta. We have decided that Edmonton is the best place for us to live. The biggest reason is that pretty much our entire family is there (including a forthcoming niece or nephew!). The exception is my sister, Natasha but we're not moving to England so I guess we have to accept being far away from her. Something else I realized lately is that if we were to plot our friends on a map they would be concentrated in Edmonton and the rest would form a small circle around Edmonton. Do we need any reasons other than those? Well it will be nice to be back somewhere that is familiar. It's also a nice compromise between small, rural Whitecourt and gigantic, metropolitan L.A..

When we were debating where we would live next Asha was fairly adamant that we should move back to Canada. When I asked why she said "because we're Canadians, Mom. That's who we are". Well she's got a point! I've tried to be pretty open-minded and not keep myself in a little Canadian bubble. I have a theory about traveling that when you are in a different country you need to immerse yourself in the country and not obsess about what it's like at home. This means not constantly calculating what time it is at home and converting the price of everything to your native currency. This is particularly helpful for getting over jetlag and basically a necessity if you want to get drunk in Iceland (a beer cost the equivalent of $20!! Maybe that has changed now since their economic crash though.... Melanie??) Anyway, I've tried to do that while we've been here. Yes, rent is ridiculously high here and people complain if it's less than 70 degrees but starting every sentence with "well in Canada..." isn't going to change that. If you're going to move to a new place you have to adapt to your environment.

I've tried to be more than the token Canadian in any given group but it's so hard! Every time I take off my jacket when I get warm at my exercise class the instructor says "Canada's taking off her jacket!". Meanwhile everyone is still cowering from the "cold" in their sweaters and "stocking caps". I want to say "well actually they're called toques" but I'm trying to fit in. I wonder if a person ever sheds their native skin a becomes an actual local. I certainly haven't but it's only been a year.

I have changed quite a bit over the last year. I'm much more likely to run a yellow light (you need to here or run the risk of getting rear-ended). I'm much more friendly and likely to talk to strangers. I made a decision when we moved that I would have to push myself out of my comfort level a bit if I was going to get to know anyone. It's kind of ironic that we think that Canadians are nicer than Americans but it took moving here for me to becoming a friendlier person! I guess most of the things that have changed about me have nothing to do with being in the U.S. and more to do with moving somewhere, anywhere new.

There are lots of things about me that I don't think will ever change. You don't realize how the political and social climate of the country where you are brought up affects you. For instance, universal healthcare is such an ingrained part of me that I continue to be shocked that it can be any other way. I know that Canada's healthcare system is far from perfect but I think there's something about the nation taking care of the health of its people that is comforting. If we were to stay here David and I would most likely have health care coverage through our employers which is essentially the same as having it covered by the government. But even if we had adequate coverage I would find it hard to forget about the millions of people who do not.

Well this post has turned into one giant tangent and isn't at all what I intended it to be. I guess I just wanted to let you all know that we're officially moving back and we are ALL thrilled about it. My sister said recently that she's glad I'm moving back even if I'm not but the truth is that we wouldn't be moving back if we didn't want to be. We will need to be reminded of that regularly when we're up to our eyeballs in snow and cold. I guess we won't be able to complain about the weather anymore, will we!

Funny stuff my kids did recently

chirp chirp chirp

Those are the crickets chirping after my last blog post. Oh dear, have I alienated myself from my entire readership? I actually had a few people email me their comments. Most people agreed with me and/or brought up other facets that I hadn't talked about (i.e., how women are portrayed on TV, the effects of social media such as Facebook on society, the effects of the internet in general).

Well I thought I would lighten things up a bit and how better to do that then talk about funny things my kids say and do?

Asha's been quite philosophical lately. We've had several discussions about why the seasons change and how it can be daytime here but nighttime in England but it's winter in both places. She's also going through a fun little phase where she is constantly a victim of unfortunate circumstances and everyone else is to blame. We signed her up for swimming lessons and her first class was the other day. The class was at 10:00am so it was an eternity for her to wait since she woke up at 7:00. She decided that I was making her wait on purpose just to be mean and I was going to make her late and miss the class. To this I replied in a sarcastic tone that I'm trying to stop using, "you're right. I searched all over L.A. looking for a good class for you to take. I then signed you up the minute registration began so you could get a spot. I then paid money not only for the class but also to park. I did all of this because I'm mean and I want you to be late and miss the class!". I don't know what it is but this constant laying of blame (and of course it's me getting blamed 95% of the time) makes me crazier than anything! Even whining!

But this is supposed to be about funny things Asha says, not annoying things. Yesterday we went for a walk / bike ride. It was one of the first times Asha had been back in the saddle since she broke her arm. She's been a bit hesitant to ride her bike again. She was definitely more cautious and slower than she used to be, much to Stobie's sagrine because he thought he was actually going to get a decent walk. Asha was cruising along pretty well until she suddenly stopped and gazed off into the distance. When I asked what she was doing she said, in a dramatic and melancholy voice "it's my grave". I didn't know what she meant but she explained that it was the site of the unfortunate arm-breaking incident. We had a moment of silence to mourn the loss of her intact arm bone and moved on. Our Asha definitely has a flair for the dramatic.

Asha is also doing a yoga class right now. Very L.A., right? Asha thinks that she has some innate yogic ability because her name is Indian. The class is pretty fun and involves things like standing up from a cross-legged position with your hands on your head. Try it! It's harder than it sounds! Well before Asha's first class she ran into her room so she could get on her yoga outfit. A few minutes later she came out wearing the following: leggings with shorts over top, a long-sleeved shirt with a tank top over top, sunglasses, and a pink cowboy hat. She insisted that that's what people wear to yoga class in California. When we got to the class I was shocked to see that everyone else had on the same outfit! Just kidding! Imagine if that happened!

Well enough about Asha. We can't forget about Nia!  As a younger child myself I am acutely aware that the oldest child often steals the show. Nia and I share something in common which is a precocious, ultra-talkative older sister. My other sister, a classic middle child compensated by being very well behaved and therefore adored by all, especially teachers. So far, Nia seems to using my strategy of being extremely cute. Unfortunately I was irritating and very much aware of my cuteness. Nia, on the other hand, is just so damn cute and hilarious without even trying.

(Just a brief little interlude to give a shout-out to my sisters. As my girls get older I see them becoming genuine friends which I find thrilling. My sisters and I got along ridiculously well as kids too. I have so many great memories of them reading to me and playing with me in the backyard. We had our occasional scuffles such as when Natasha hit me in the face with a lunchbox. Or did I hit her? I can't remember. Siena was bossy and liked to play fun little tricks such as setting up a yard sale on her bed where I could buy her crappy old toys (including some stuff that was mine). But for the most part my sisters were the best big sisters I could have ever asked for, despite my aforementioned annoying cuteness.)

Anyway, when I look back at pictures from when we first moved here I realize that Nia was seriously homely. I mean this in the most loving way possible and I was certainly not aware of it at the time. I guess all parents are somewhat oblivious to their children's shortcomings. Maybe I'm still delusional but I'm pretty sure that Nia is becoming one ridiculously cute kid. She has quite the little personality on her. David is seriously concerned because Nia seems to be a bit of a fashionista. Each morning when David takes Nia and Stobie for a walk he takes Nia to her closet to choose a sweater. She is very discerning about what she chooses and usually matches her selection to what David is wearing. Nia is also obsessed with shoes and hats and purses.

So we've got a whole lotta personality going on in our house! I'm afraid for the teenage years. Sometimes I think about people who don't have kids and how nice it must be sometimes. Generally this happens at 2 in the morning when Asha has growing pains or 6 in the morning when Nia didn't get the memo about the time change. But more often there are times when I am busting a gut because of something funny one of our kids did. Or because of the ridiculousness that has become our life. I had a recent conversation with a couple of moms about the strangest thing we've ever found in our kid's diaper. One of the best I've ever heard of was light bright pegs. My personal best was a googly eye used for crafts. There's nothing more unsettling than something peering out at you from the depths of a diaper.

So yes, my life is ridiculous at times but that's what makes it so damn fun.

That Wretched Stone

Alright. This is the post that has been brewing in my mind for the last 8 months but I haven't actually put down into words. The reason that I haven't written it yet is that the topic tends to alienate me from people. You see, I have found myself becoming increasingly weird and less like the norm. I sometimes ask myself if I've become the mom from About a Boy. Remember that movie? The mom is a vegan hippy who encourages her son to be unique and not fall prey to peer pressure. Unfortunately this results in him being a total outcast because he wears ugly shoes and spontaneously starts singing in the middle of class. Well I'm not as weird as that mom is nor do I have suicidal tendancies like her, thank goodness. Asha is definitely her own person but she isn't a social outcast (she does have a tendency to break into song at any given moment but she's 4 so it's still cute).

There's a fantastic kids' book called The Wretched Stone. It's by Chris Van Allsburg, the author of Jumanji and The Polar Express. It's about a ship of sailors who find a mysterious stone out at sea. The stone has a haunting glow and the sailors can't help but stare at it. Over time the sailors cease doing the things they loved to do such as reading,  playing music and dancing and eventually they all turn to monkeys. In the end the captain covers up the stone and destroys it and the sailors return to normal (although they have an increased appetite for bananas!).

So the topic of this post is television. I'm just going to say it. I think television is responsible for the unravelling of the fabric of society. Phew. There it is. The reason that I'm hesitant to say this out loud is that people love TV and don't like to hear that it is evil. You would be amazed at how often television shows come up in conversation. I know, because I never have anything to offer in these conversations because we don't have TV.

Well we don't have cable or satellite or anything like that. I have to say up front that we do have a physical television set and we do watch movies so I'm not a complete media hermit. I have the entire second season of Modern Family on DVD and I am a bit of a closet "Gleek" so whenever those two shows come up in conversation I am so excited to contribute!! I also think that the second best decision I ever made as a parent was to limit my child's TV (or in our case movie) time to 1 movie a day. Asha knows that this occurs during Nia's nap so I have approximately 1 1/2 uninterrupted hours every day. Because she doesn't watch much TV Asha doesn't tune it out like most kids and carry on with other stuff. When she watches a movie she is totally engrossed so I can do whatever I want at that time. Seriously people, it's the best damn thing you can ever do for yourself as a parent (not to mention the benefits of limiting screen time on your kids but we'll get to that. By the way, this is the second best decision I ever made as a parent because the first is having my children with David. He's literally the best dad ever. I knew that he would be a good dad before we had kids but I never could have dreamed what a fun, engaged, and helpful dad he would be. But I digress...

We actually ended up having no cable by accident. When we moved to our first home in Whitecourt it took the cable company 3 months to hook it up. We missed it at first but after a couple of months we realized that we were better off without it. We spent more time reading, cooking, exercising, sleeping and fixing up our house than when we had TV. We called the cable company and told them not to bother coming. We lived without TV for several months. Then came hockey season and we really missed watching the games. One "Hockey Night in Canada" we were really wishing we could watch the game and couldn't help but notice the cable box in the backyard. We figured it was worth a try to see if we could somehow get something out of it. It turned out the cable had never been cut off so we were able to get it for free.

Well, we were like ex-junkies that fell off the wagon. At first we said we would just watch the games but that slowly snowballed until we were watching every night. I should add (because if I don't David will) that David didn't actually watch much TV even when we could. He has a low tolerance for crappy TV and most of it really is crappy. So I'll say it like it is... I was like an ex-junkie that fell off the wagon. I didn't like the hold that TV seemed to have on me. If I sat down to watch one show I would end up staying up until midnight. I also found myself doing less of the other stuff that I enjoyed doing.

So when we moved into our log house we decided to not even wire the house for cable. I went through a brief withdrawal but then I was back to enjoying the extra time. Since getting rid of TV I think I changed in lots of subtle ways. I'm much less paranoid about things like serial killers and child molesters. The actually likelihood of getting murdered is extremely slim but when we hear about every single case that happens in the world it makes us think it happens all the time in our own backyard. I also think that I want to buy less stuff. I was never a big shopper but since I'm not being inundated by commercials I don't feel like I need every new thing that comes out. One of the best things about just watching DVDs instead of TV is that you don't get the advertising.

That brings me to the unravelling of society. When I think of what is wrong with our society, TV has a major part in all of these things. Obesity epidemic? Well not only does TV take away from our time to exercise but it blasts us with advertisements for unhealthy food. Decline in reading among children? A recent study showed a link between empathy in children and reading. A book allows you to get into a person's mind and therefore makes you more empathetic towards the feelings of other people. TV just doesn't do this in the same way. Increase in ADHD and other psychological disorders? It has been shown that watching TV actually changes the way a person's brain is wired. Television is constantly flashing from one shot to another. Kids' brains come to seek out constant changes in input and therefore have trouble focusing in the real world. A decline in community and family relationships? Everyone is holed up inside instead of sitting on their front porches interacting with other people. Families tend to split off and watch separate shows in separate rooms. Don't even get me started on kids having televisions in their bedrooms! I've already alluded to the general paranoia that people have and also an overall lack of trust for eachother. Think about how many shows there are about decent human beings versus the ones about psychos. Not to mention all of these "reality shows" that don't exactly paint a positive picture of humanity. I guess us decent, normal people don't make for very good TV, do we?

The most troubling thing about television is the pervasive consumerism. We need to remember that the purpose of TV is not to entertain us but to make us buy stuff. We tend to think that commercials are annoying interludes from our shows when the truth is the opposite. Companies pay billions of dollars to advertise and the shows are created to keep our interest. Even without the actual advertisements, products are planted in all of the shows that we watch. My beloved Modern Family had a whole episode about Phil desperately trying to get a new IPad. It was hilarious but still... The even bigger problem is that television sells a lifestyle that is out of reach for many people and just within grasp for many more. We feel like we need a new car, a bigger house, furniture to fill that big house and therefore we need to work more in order to afford all that new stuff. We are so overworked that we have no time for the things that matter in life. Then we're so damn tired at the end of the day that all we want to do it veg out in front of the TV.

I guess I just feel like we're all getting suckered. Why exactly do we pay for this crap? And it truly is crap. Whenever I get a chance to watch TV at a hotel or someone else's house I get a bit excited. But then I turn the TV on, flip through the channels a few times and turn it off because it's all such CRAP!


Now that I have kids I've gone from being somewhat anti-television to being downright pissed off. Dora doesn't exist to entertain or educate my children but to make them want a Dora toothbrush, Dora underwear, a Dora bike etc etc. The kids' television stations employ psychologists to help them get into kids' heads. Look on the credits for most of the shows and you'll see a psychologist listed. Everything has been manufactured, from the length of an episode to the size of Elmo's eyes to appeal to our kids as much as possible.

OK, I'm going to reel it in a little bit. I've gone a bit too conspiracy theory with all this. You may be wondering why we have a TV at all. I realize the hypocrisy of preaching about the evils of the small screen when we still watch movies (which are actually usually DVDs of TV shows). Asha is watching The Magic School Bus as I write this. Part of the reason is the aforementioned 1 1/2 hours a day that I get to myself. It would be dishonest if I just said it was for honorable reasons. But it's also because I don't want Asha to be a total social outcast and I've experienced first-hand how alienating it can be to not be able to contribute to water cooler conversations. I also quite a few sideways looks when I've told people that we don't watch TV. I usually avoid the topic because people think I'm just too weird. Asha's already unique enough. I don't need to fan future bully's flames. I also like to watch the occasional movie in the evening.

My friend Jodi recently visited with her beautiful baby Emma and we had an interesting discussion about television. She said that one of her favourite things to do with her husband is curl up on the couch together and watch TV. For them, TV is quality time. It made me think about what David and I do in the evenings (the ones where David is home and not at school). We often sit and chat but just as often we read or do homework which are very solitary activities. Jodi also told me that if I plan on lobbying against television it will be the hill I die on. She's probably right. Are we all turning into monkeys? Does anybody even care if we are?

Girl Dating

I've never really dated. I kind of went from my high school boyfriend to dating a guy who was already my friend to dating (and then marrying) my best friend's brother. So I've never really had to be involved in the whole courting thing. I always thought that I was lucky but I think it left me completely unprepare for something much worse than dating: friend courting. Moving to a new city is fun and exciting but it also leaves you without any close girlfriends nearby and making new friends is not an easy endeavour.

I am reading a book right now called "MWF seeking BFF". Hilarious title, right? It's a memoir of a woman who moved from New York City to Chicago and vowed to go on 52 girl dates in a year in order to find a new best friend in her new city. When I heard about his book I had to get it because it totally struck home. She talks about how it's not actually that hard to make acquaintances if you're a half-way friendly person but it's so hard to take it to the next level where it becomes an actual friendship. The writer of the book is recently married and has no kids so her situation is a bit different than mine but the idea is the same.

Being a mom has made it much easier to meet people in a new city. People are much more likely to talk to you if you have kids with you. I have also met lots of moms with kids Asha's age so I have no shortage of acquaintances around town. It helps that Asha is insanely outgoing. Whenever we go to a park, Asha usually finds the girl closest to her in age and immediately befriends her. I've even seen Asha effortlessly bust into a group of established friends. It's amazing to watch. So I often end up chatting with the other kid's mom which sometimes results in an exchange of phone numbers and a "they should have a playdate some time" send-off.

The thing that I find hard is that just because our kids play together it doesn't mean that the mom and I will have anything else in common. Sometimes the child is lovely but the mom is wierd. Sometimes the mom is lovely but the child is wierd. It's also hard to actually make that next move. I feel wierd phoning someone up and saying "Remember me? The Canadian from the park? Wanna play sometime?". It feels a bit desperate.

The closest I've come to a friendship has been with Catie. Her daughter was in summer camp with Asha and she has a cool casualness about her that I like. Her two daughters are almost the exact same age to the day as my girls. Our kids even have similar dispositions (the eldest are outgoing and strong-willed and the youngest are quiet and easygoing). Another nice thing is that Catie has lived in L.A. for less than a year so she doesn't have a super-established social network yet. I always think that people who have lived here for a long time already have friends so why would they want to befriend me?

Well our kids have had many playdates and it's now the sort of situation where I can just call her up and say "we're going to the park. Wanna come?". I even house/dog sat for them when they went back east to visit family. The trouble is that we aren't really friends per se as much as fellow moms. We've never hung out without our kids. Another problem is that Asha and Catie's eldest, Jayna don't actually seem to like eachother. When they play at eachother's houses they generally just fight over toys. When they play at the park they usually find other kids to play with. Apparently two outgoing, strongwilled four year olds is a bad combination. I'm not sure if Catie hasn't noticed this or if she's just choosing to ignore it like me. I think we're at a point now where we need to decide if we're friends independent of our children or not. I feel like I would have to put myself out there and ask her out on a girl date! What do I do? Ask her out to dinner?! Somehow asking a girl out is way worse than asking a boy out on a date (not that I've ever done that).

It's similarly wierd with the parents at Asha's school. Most of the kids in Asha's class were in school together last year so they all know eachother well. Asha, of course, has seamlessly fit herself into this situation. The parents are all very nice and friendly. We've been invited to the park and the beach several times by other parents. The thing is, several of the parents are also friends independent of their kids. I overhear them talking about dinner parties that they've had over the weekend. How am I supposed to bust into that situation?

This brings me back to the temporariness of our time here. Is there any point in asking Catie out on a girl-date if we might move in 3 months? It's not like I don't have any friends they just happen to be scattered all over the place. I've managed to hang on to at least one person from each of my stages of life. Those are my lifer friends who will never get rid of me (you know who you are). Maybe it's enough to have the lifer friends who I can call whenever I need them and then a bunch of acquaintances who I can have the daily not-so-deep interactions with. Or maybe I'm just to chicken to ask Catie on a girl date or chat up one of the other parents from Asha's class.

Or maybe I just need to take a page from Asha's book. When she gets to the park is she thinking, "That girl has lots of friends already. She doesn't want to be friends with me."? Yeah right! Is she thinking, "We might be moving in 3 months so what's the point of starting a game of tag."? No way! Asha has actually been openly shunned by a girl and it didn't phase her one bit. The girl actually said "Go away. I don't want to play with you". I wanted to tear that girl limb from limb and hollar at her mom for raising such a mean child. Asha persisted for a while but then moved on. I guess it's one more thing on a very long list that I need to learn from my daughter. I will one day turn this list into a book entitled How to Live Like a Preschooler. It includes taking naps, getting really excited every time you see an airplane, and splashing in puddles. It'll be a bestseller!

Living in Tinseltown

So I am really enjoying my Beach Bootcamp class. It's a great excuse to get outside and get some exercise. A few weeks ago my class was cancelled and I didn't know until I'd gone all the way down there. Texas had sent an email but of course I didn't get it because I'm a computer moron who checks her email once a day (this is also the reason that I haven't posted anything in 3 weeks! Sorry!). Anyway, when I got back home I told David to guess why the class was cancelled. My hint was that it was a very L.A. reason. His first guess was traffic. Quite possible but incorrect. His next guess was an earthquake. Not so likely and also incorrect.

The correct answer was that they were filming a movie on the beach. A big chunk of the beach was closed off and there were trucks and trailers everywhere. I saw a tall, thin woman coming out of one of the Star Wagons (the trailers that celebrities use) and I figured she was someone famous. I didn't recognize her but I am a bit of a media hermit so that's no surprise. I must admit that I slowed down as I drove by in the hopes that I would recognize someone.

I suppose I knew that the film industry was sort of a big deal here but for some reason it still surprises me how much Hollywood permeates the whole city. A friend of mine is a costumer for TV and films which involves buying several sets of the same outfit for an actor and then breaking them down so they look worn-in and authentic. The mother of one of Asha's classmates is a talent agent. One of the singers in my choir's husband is a movie extra (but in his heart he's a songwriter/rapper. Seriously.).

It turns out that the beach where my bootcamp class is is one of the top 10 film locations in the city. On the weekend as I returned to my car after my class I saw some people playing croquet in a field near the beach. I thought this was wierd but it turned out that they were filming a scene. By the way, if you ever see a movie or a TV show with a blond pre-teen girl and a boy with red hair playing croquet look out for me! I'm the sweaty lady in the background trying to convince a 4 year old to put her shoes on to cross the street.

I'm not a person who is obsessed with celebrity. I don't buy People or Us magazines although I must admit that I check out the front covers when I'm waiting in line at the grocery store. Is Angelina really pregnant again? How is it possible for a body that skinny to grow a baby?? Increasingly though, I don't even know who the people on those magazines are. Recently I saw an interview with a woman and the interviewer said "what does it feel like to be the world's most recognizable person?". I literally didn't know who it was. It turns out that it was Lady Gaga. I do know who she is but I guess I don't know what she looks like!

Speaking of Lady Gaga, there was a women's conference at our babysitter's private school and Lady Gaga performed at it. Maria Shriver's kids go the the school. Isn't that crazy? These are things that just happen in this city! Even though I don't really care about celebrities all that much I still felt the need to write to all of you about Maria Shriver's kids going to my babysitter's school! I'm practically famous!

I have decided that I would like to see a celebrity while we're in L.A. because it's such a truly L.A. experience. I think I might have seen the redheaded kid from the Harry Potter movies at the airport but David says it doesn't count because a) I don't know if it was him and b) he's not really famous. I definitely did see Vern, one of the designers from Trading Spaces but he's not famous enough either. The thing is, there are so many celebrities in this city it wouldn't actually take much effort for me to see one. Anyone can stand outside of a movie premiere to catch a glimpse of someone famous. I just don't think I can be bothered. I either have too much pride or too little energy, or both. Weston and Hillary (remember the fancy people from David's school?) told me that we just have to go to the Ivy which is the restaurant where all the celebrities go. Sounds expensive.

I guess I'll just wait and see if I happen to stumble upon a celebrity some time. I don't even know what I'd do if I did see someone. I would have too much pride to say something but David says that it doesn't count as a celebrity sighting if you don't confirm if it really is them. Hmmm.

Private and Charter and Magnet, Oh My!

David is now in his last semester of school and you may be wondering just where we're going to live once he's done. Well we're still undecided. The whole time we've been living here we have assumed that it was temporary. We still have all the boxes we moved down with in the garage so we can pack everything up again. We kept Alberta registration on our vehicles. We've bought very little furniture that will be difficult to move by the time the year is up.

It feels strange to live in a temporary situation. What's the point of making good friends when we're going to move away anyway? Why buy a new bed when we're going to have to haul it across the continent in a few months?  It can be uncomfortable, both mentally (in the case of the lack of friends) and physically (in the case of the bed). But in some ways it's also nice. Yes, there are brown widow spiders in our backyard but we'll move away soon and never have to deal with them again (my mama bear instinct makes me want to annihilate every last one of them but the pacifist in me makes me apologize profusely as I do it).

One of the main reasons that I like to think about our time here being temporary is because then I don't have to think about where Asha would go to school next year. You would not believe the tizzy that people get themselves into about schooling around here. Westchester, the area where we live, is a fairly decent area. David recently read that it has the 4th lowest crime rate in all of  L.A.! It's no Beverly Hills but it's a pretty average, middle class neighbourhood. Soon after we moved here I heard several people comment that Westchester is a nice place to live but it's a shame that the schools are so terrible. I also couldn't help but notice that all of the kids on our street go to schools elsewhere. Our next-door neighbours pretend that they live at a friend's house so they can get their kids into school in an adjacent area called El Segundo. Doesn't El Segundo sound like a place where greasy men would sell Chihuahuas out of the back of a pickup truck? Well it seems to be a pretty exclusive place.

Anyway, I had been to a family fun day at the school that Asha is now going to and it seemed like a good school! I didn't get it. Were people just super picky about schools here? Well it turns out that the public elementary and middle schools in Westchester are pretty good but the problem is with the high school. Students get bussed in to Westchester High from the inner city much to the local people's dismay. My initial reaction was that the inner city kids deserve a good education too but apparently the school has become a pretty scary place.

So for the most part people try to get their kids out of the Westchester public school system as early as possible. There is a labrynthine system that one has to tackle in order to do this. There are charter schools which are kind of part of the public school system but they don't actually have to adhere to the rules and curriculum of a public school. They seem to be more granola than your typical school. I heard one parent comment that at a charter school called Ocean Charter School they don't learn to read until 5th grade. I think she was exaggerating. Charter schools are incredibly hard to get into. Most of them have a lottery system.

Then there are private schools. They are, as expected, very expensive but our neighbours' kids got some sort of subsidy so they're not as snobby as you might think. It is pretty commonplace for kids to go to private school here. Before I moved here the only people I heard of going to private school were Prince William and a kid I knew from elementary school who was really bad (and I think his parents just wanted to get rid of him).

The other option is a magnet school. These are schools that focus on a specific academic area. There are science magnet schools, performing arts magnet schools, even business magnet schools. Apparently you need points to get into magnet schools. You get points for living near the school, having a sibling in the school, etc. But if a child has gone to one magnet school you get points for other magnet schools.

So it's enough to make a person want to homeschool! And it's very hard not to get wrapped up in it all. I just keep telling myself that I don't have to worry about it. Asha and I were recently at a birthday party and it was all the parents could talk about. Maya's on the list for Open Charter so they've got their fingers crossed. Amanda's got an in at a magnet school because her sisters both go there. Malachi's mom is interviewing for a performing arts magnet school near their house. I couldn't help but notice that while all the other kids were playing in the bouncy house and playing elaborate imaginative games, Malachi was in the corner spinning wheels on a toy train for half an hour. Well he might not go for performing arts but at least he'll get points for another magnet school! The conversation was exhausting. It was so lovely that when they asked where Asha would be going I could say "we probably won't be living here next year".

David has said that if we do stay in L.A. he wants to put Asha in a private school. My initial reaction is that it is way to elitist for me. I believe in public education. I believe that every kid has the right to a good education for free. But the truth of the matter is that the public education system in California is a giant mess. The schools are so hung up on their ratings and test score that they've lost sight of what really matters. Several teachers have recently been caught helping their students cheat in order to boost test scores. I feel like private school is a band-aid solution but do I want Asha to go to Westchester High with students that carry guns and sell drugs?

So these are some of the fun little things that I have to consider if we are to stay here in L.A. When the lady from my bootcamp class said that you either need to live in a good area (and by good she means Beverly Hills) or pay for private school she wasn't really exaggerating!

I also feel like people put a lot of pressure on kids here to do well in school. They recently decided to shift the school year so that kids finish school early in June and start up again in August. This is apparently so that kids graduating from high school have time to do more summer school so they can be competetive with kids from the East Coast in university. What is going on!? Asha has a friend who started kindergarten this year in Chinese immersion in Venice Beach. Her mom drives her 45 minutes to school, then she has a full day of school (all kindergarten is full-day here which I personally think is messed up), then 45 minutes to get home. I think that's a pretty full day for a 5 year old. Well in order help her keep up her parents have gotten her an IPad so that she can practice Chinese for an hour each evening. When I saw her recently and asked her how school was going, she said "hard".

So, here's what I'm wondering... is this a California thing? I haven't decided if this mass hysteria is warranted or everyone around here has lost their minds. Is it like this in Canada? I have this notion that in Canada you just put your kids in the school closest to your home because that's what my parents did. There are some exceptions like if you want your kid in Catholic school or French immersion but I feel like there isn't this madness in Canada. Have I idealized the way things are back home?

One quick story to wrap up this tirade... the other day at beach bootcamp the ladies were talking about how to get into a great pre-K program in El Segundo. One of the women said "whatever you do don't teach your daughter to skip". Well apparently it's a program specifically for kids who are not ready for kindergarten yet so there's some sort of reverse competency test to get in. One of the gross motor skills they test is skipping so that if a child is able the skip then they're ready for kindergarten and don't get in. Parents actually help their kids flunk the test so they can get into the program. So much for putting too much pressure on kids to succeed! I found myself thinking "yes! Asha can't skip! She'd get in for sure!" Oh no. I'm becoming one of them...

Beach Bootcamp and an Armenian Head

Man I really suck these days at keeping up my blog. I'm sorry everyone! Assuming that anyone is still out there reading this. Well I've been putting off writing this post for a while because it seemed a bit, well, rude. I was waiting for the weather back home to be less than brutal before I wrote about my adventures on the beach. Then it went down to minus 50 in Edmonton and I thought "screw it!". By the way, I am not exaggerating when I say that people can not comprehend the concept of negative temperatures. It is in small part because of the whole celsius/fahrenheit thing but mostly because they don't understand that a temperature can have a negative sign in front of it.

So, my new favourite thing about living in L.A. is a little thing called Beach Bootcamp. Yes, the "bootcamp" part may sound less than fun but doesn't everything sound better with the word "beach" in front of it? I was looking for an exercise class and I came upon a Beach Bootcamp class taught by Markus and Texas. Are those great names or what? I had images of two heavily-muscled ex-marines yelling at me to run faster. Wohoo! Well upon further investigation I found out that Texas is in fact a woman and she and Markus are married. They run a class for women where you can bring your kids and they play on the beach while you work out. Sign me up!

I showed up at the beach and saw a woman setting up for a class. I assumed this was Texas herself. I walked up to her and said "are you Texas?" to which the woman replied "is that a person?". It turns out that there are several fitness classes on the beach and the one I was looking for was a bit further down. When I finally found Markus he told me to take off my shoes and go for a run in the sand. Well, he had me at "take off your shoes". Something you must know about me is that I loathe shoes. I have worn flip-flops every single day that I have lived here. A workout where you don't wear shoes?! Sweet! Running in the sand is not so sweet but it is a fantastic workout.

I've been doing the class for two weeks now and I love it. To be honest it's not as challenging as I had hoped but it's still a pretty good workout. (As a side note... Jolene's Stroller Bootcamp in Whitecourt is the best fitness class I've ever taken. If you live in Whitecourt and have had or will ever have a baby you MUST take this class. Also, if you live anywhere near one of Alberta's recreation facilities I hope you're taking advantage of it! There is NOTHING like Whitecourt's Allan & Jean Miller Centre here!)

I am lucky enough that Asha is in school when I go to the class and David is home most mornings so Nia stays at home with him. So after my class I go down by the water and stretch and meditate. How very Californian of me! It's a great way to start my day.

So do you hate me yet? Well my bootcamp class has also been a bit of a reminder of the not-so-great things about L.A.. There was sewage spill the other day so there were signs all over the beach that you couldn't swim in the water. Apparently it happens all the time. I guess the system that manages the waste of 8 million people is bound to fail sometimes. A fellow bootcamper also told me the other day that you have to have money to live in L.A. because you either need to pay to live in a fancy area or pay for private schools because the public schools in the other areas suck. I think this is a comment on both the insane standard of living here but also the frenzy that people get into about schools in this city. But that's a whole other post...

Finally, the topic of conversation at class today was that a human head was found by a hiker near the Hollywood sign. The body (or I guess the lack thereof) had not been identified but apparently it was suspected that they were Armenian.  How exactly would they know that?! When I first moved to Whitecourt there had been a stabbing a few days before and I was horrified. What kind of place had I moved to!?

So living in L.A. is not all sand and meditation but I'm doing my best to take advantage of all the good stuff. Nothing beats the feeling of sand in my toes and sun on my face.

Oh, and one quick Asha-ism before I sign off. The other day she asked me "what's unnergah?" to which I replied "I have no idea". She said "in the pledgaleedgence?". To which I replied "I literally have no idea what you are talking about". So it turns out that they are learning the Pledge of Allegiance in school. It's a bit wierd that Asha is pledging her allegiance to a foreign flag but I guess I have to expect it if I'm going to put her in a Yankee school. So here's how her version goes:

"A pledgaleedgence to the flag. On which it stand. In invisible. Unnergah."

I figure it's OK that she's pledging her allegiance to a foreign flag because she clearly has no idea what she is saying.

The Open Road

I am writing this while sitting in a moving vehicle just outside of Beaver, Utah. Isn't the modern age crazy? So you may be wondering why I am just outside of Beaver,Utah. Well, Jeanette and I are on a little bit of a road trip.

Since moving to L.A. we have been driving David's truck. The truck has served us well but it was time to move on. I am not exaggerating when I say that it is the most beat up and dirtiest vehicle in the entire state of California. It was already a bit worse for wear when we first got to L.A. but it has only gone downhill from there. David got his official "welcome to L.A." salute by getting rear-ended a few months ago. The body damage was bad enough to write off our truck but it was still drive-able. Did you know that you can wait for a year to make an insurance claim and continue driving the vehicle? Well you can!

Since then I had a bit of a run-in with a parked truck made of solid steel resulting in a wee bit of a scratch. The truck has also started backfiring and I'm a bit scared of getting stranded on the side of the freeway with my kids in the back. So, it's time for something new, don't you think? I'm all for being frugal but come on now. I recently went to Beverly Hills for a choir rehearsal and someone asked me if I saw the Beverly Hillbillies to which I replied "I WAS the Beverly Hillbillies!".

Long story short, my sister sold us her old Rav 4 which Asha lovingly christened Amelia Bedelia. It's the perfect vehicle for us. Unfortunately my parents' neighbours' teenage son backed into poor Amelia and destroyed the driver's door. This is one of those occasions when I thank my lucky stars that David is not only the kind of guy who can get straight A's in grad school but also the kind of guy who can find a new door for a vehicle and put it on in record time. It was going to take the bodyshop over a week which wouldn't have left us enough time to drive to L.A. before David and the girls arrive. The only door for a Rav 4 in all of Alberta was red and there wasn't time to get it painted so poor Amelia Bedelia looks a little ridiculous. We just can't escape our hillbilly ways! Don't worry. We will get it painted once we get to L.A..

So that brings us to two girls, two dogs, and the open road. Jeanette was planning on visiting us in the new year anyway so she came along for the ride! Luckily David is also the kind of guy who can be left with his two kids while his wife Thelma-and-Louises it up with her best friend! Don't worry, we're staying away from Brad Pitt and the Grand Canyon.

Just outside of Red Deer we started to notice a peculiar sound coming from Amelia's front left wheel well. We immediately called David and tried to get him to listen to the sound through the phone. When we pulled over and looked we couldn't help but notice the mud flap hanging down rubbing against the wheel. When we told David he sarcastically said "I love that you called me before you even looked at it. ". Whatever. He loves helping us damsels in distress.

As we carried on further south we were told that there were not one, not two, but THREE fires burning in Southern Alberta.  In January. What the hell? The highway had been closed because of smoke as well as winds so strong that they were pushing over semis and RVs. This led to a minor detour but we managed to cross the border without a problem. The border security guy waved us through quite quickly. It might have been that we were little nervous and became giggly and annoying. Why is it that I always get nervous at customs even though I have nothing to hide?

So the rest of the trip has included 2 provinces, 5 states, several bathroom breaks, and a covert operation to sneak Stobie into a hotel room. We have seen the Big Montana sky, the beautiful mountains of Idaho & Utah, and we're entering the Nevada desert. We'll be in Las Vegas soon. Oh dear! Hopefully we can survive Sin City!